The Looking Glass
by balletismyobsession
Summary: "We call it The Looking Glass. This is our connection to the things we left behind on earth." Alternate ending for my story: To Build a Home. Read that first or you're going to be very confused!
1. Part 1

**Alternate ending for To Build a Home.**

**So put this after the last chapter (chapter 46). **

**I imagine this slightly Hercules-esque in regards to the city and stuff and the whole thing is a bit fantasy, I guess. This stemmed from a review left by a reader (I'm terribly sorry but I forget who it was) telling me that I should do something with Kurt waiting for Blaine. So here's my (very long haha) spin on that**

**Brief summary if you haven't read To Build a Home (spoiler alert! look away if you don't want to know what happens in three... two... one...): Kurt has cancer and leukemia takes his life, leaving behind the things he loves on earth. Blaine is falling apart and Kurt can only watch as his boyfriend tries to pick up the peices of his shattered life. **

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><p>Kurt Hummel opened his eyes.<p>

And closed them immediately. It was all kinds of bright here. He worried for a moment if his retinas would be permanently damaged. His hands clenched lightly and then relaxed.

Well, he couldn't just stand here in the comforting darkness forever. So, he took a breath and slowly opened one eye.

Okay, less bright. But still uncomfortably white. Like the florescent hospital lights had been switched to LED. He closed the eye again. His heart was starting to pound in his chest, like a drum beating out the counts to when he might actually stop being a baby and look around.

Nine… Ten… Eleven… Twelve…Thirteen…

Alright, that was enough. His eyelids fluttered open and he lifted his head, rotating his neck to take in everything he could.

It was just the initial light that had almost blinded him. Now it was a normal brightness, something his eyes didn't have to adjust to. The sky was a summery eggshell blue, with huge puffs of clouds that didn't even look real. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and he turned his face to the sky, smiling up at the clouds and spreading his arms out to his sides. He was so happy to see actual, real _sky_ that he didn't think anything of the fact that a moment ago, he was struggling to breathe and spots were dancing in his vision as he stared wide-eyed at the blank hospital ceiling tiles. He was too happy to be able to _move _again and run around if he wanted and smell fresh air and feel green grass to notice that everything he saw was too perfect to be real.

He was actually considering spinning around on the spot when-

"Kurt."

He froze. His head flicked back down and he felt his heart stop. He knew that voice. He would know that voice anywhere.

Kurt let his arms fall slowly back to his side and he twisted his upper body around, looking behind him, not even sure that the voice he heard was real.

He turned all the way around and just stood there in a state of shock. Tears filled his eyes and his lips began to tremble. He felt the way his throat was constricting and when he opened his mouth, a single word escaped, whispered and breathy and shaky.

"Mom?"

The woman standing in front of him smiled gently. Her eyes were shining with tears and she held out her hands. Kurt did not need to be told. He ran to her, throwing his arms around her waist and locking his hands together. She grasped him tightly around his back as he buried his face in her shoulder, reaching one hand up to rest on the back of his head, her fingers gently rubbing through his hair.

"Hello sweetheart." She whispered and Kurt's heart jumped at the sound.

He took stuttering breaths and then pulled away to look into her face. "I-is it really you?"

She smiled, pressing her hand to his cheek. "Of course it is honey. Oh, I've missed you so much."

She pulled him into another hug and he melted into her, wanting to sink to the floor. He never thought he'd see her again. And here she was, holding him like he'd wished she could for so many years.

He looked into her face and said, "I've missed you too."

Elizabeth rested her hands on his shoulders, having to look up a bit at her son, who was a good two inches taller than she. Kurt sighed lightly.

"Mom, you look beautiful."

And she laughed, a sound that Kurt had missed dearly. "Always the charmer. Thank you son."

Her skin was pale, the same shade as Kurt's. Her eyes were a mirror of her son's, blue and sparkling. Her hair was a darker brown than his; Kurt had gotten the soft brown of his hair from his father. He'd also initially gotten his father's height, though in his teens, he had sprouted up more than they'd thought he would have. She was tall and slender, dressed in a simple flowing dress that matched the color of her eyes. Kurt knew now where he was, as much as he didn't want to ask the question, and he almost snorted when he realized that for all these years, he'd been picturing angels with huge white feathered wings and softly glowing halos. He'd had an argument with Finn once about that. He owed Finn ten bucks now. Angels didn't have wings. They were beautiful, if his mom was any testament, but no wings.

She almost started to say something, then closed her mouth and seemed to change her mind, instead telling him, "You must have a ton of questions. And they will all be answered soon enough."

She reached out and took Kurt's hand and started to walk, taking him with her. His eyes fell on the grandeur of the surroundings that he had not noticed before, but he didn't let himself get wrapped up in that yet.

"Mom?" The word was hasty and sharp.

Elizabeth turned her head, but kept walking. "Hmm?"

His next words were soft, a breath on the air, as he braved his question. "Am… am I dead? Or is this a dream?"

She stopped and a sigh preceded her answer. Her eyes held sadness. "I'm sorry baby. But you don't come here unless-"

"Oh." He cut her off and looked down.

"We have a lot to talk about." She said softly. "Do you want to?"

She gestured to the path in front of her. He nodded wordlessly.

They walked in silence until she turned and said, "This wasn't how I wanted to see you again. I've missed you both so much, but I never wanted to have you come here until you were old and wrinkly and ready."

"You didn't get much of a choice Mom." Kurt said quietly. "You weren't old, wrinkly, or ready either."

"I know honey. You're right. I didn't. And neither did you and I'm so sorry. I know you would have done great things."

"Thanks." He looked up. And then he sighed. "We were supposed to go to New York. Perform on Broadway."

She listened, nodding. "Your father would have been so proud of you. He is proud of you. And I am too. So, so proud."

"What's going to happen to him Mom?" He turned his eyes to her, emotion making his voice weak.

"He has Carole. And Finn. They'll help him through this. He's strong. Burt Hummel is a strong man."

"How- how do you know about them? They didn't meet until after-"

His voice fell as he looked at her face, where a smile was growing.

"I want to show you something." She took his hand and waited for his nod before leading him up wide stone steps that came to a stop at a magnificent building. Kurt's thoughts immediately went to the Greece temples. Large, shining stone columns held up a flat roof. There was no door, just a significant break between two columns. His mom stopped and gently pushed him forward.

His shoes clacked on the stone floor. It was open and airy here. He looked out and could see the many rolling green hills being flecked with a darkening yellow as the sun began to set. The huge town below was nestled into the hillside and he could hear and see many people bustling about.

He turned back around. His mom was standing on the opposite side of the room, next to a large stone basin in the shape of a perfect circle. Curious, he went to her, wondering how he had missed the basin. Elizabeth ran a hand along the flat edge and Kurt reached his hand up to copy her and brushed the back of his fingers against the smooth surface. Ringing the sides was a mural of intricate carvings into the swirling tan colors of the granite. He wanted to study the carvings, as he saw their beauty even at a glance.

Leaning over, he could see his reflection in the water, so smooth it was like glass.

"What is this?" He asked.

It was better than any mirror he'd ever seen, or any TV he'd ever watched. He looked beautiful in that water's reflection, a high-definition version of himself.

"We call it, 'The Looking Glass.'"

He looked at her blankly, and to his surprise, she smiled and then laughed.

"It's not a very good name. But it's been called that for much longer than I've been here and it'll be called that for centuries to come."

"What's it do?"

Her smile turned serious and she circled around the basin, across from Kurt. She leaned over and placed her palms on the ring of granite. Her eyes closed and then she reached out one hand and touched a finger to the center of the water. Smooth circling ripples fanned out from the touch. The first ripple reached the sides of the basin and when it collided with the surface, a soft hum was heard. And again as the second ripple made contact. Again and again. The humming grew louder, but never past a whisper, The sound was gorgeous. He stared, transfixed, as the last ripple died away. And then, sharp and clear as a diamond, he could see a scene come into focus.

It was the park where his mom liked to walk. She used to take him there every Saturday and stroll along the quiet paths as long as he wanted. He'd collect flowers for her and she'd dry them and put the best ones in a book. That book was still in his room, tucked safely in his bookcase. He could see the green grass, now covered in snow except for the tips of some lucky blades that had managed to peek out to the sun, the children bundled up in jackets running across the path, a mother looking concernedly after them. He could hear the shrill laughter of the children and the howl of the wind.

"It's beautiful. It looks so real."

"It is real sweetheart."

He tore his gaze away from the scene and looked up at her. She smiled softly and explained further, "This shows you anything you want to see. You think about it, touch the water, and it comes up."

"Like a movie."

"In a way, yes. But this shows you the real time, what is actually happening. This is our connection to things we left behind on earth."

"Things?" His gaze turned thoughtful. "So, you could look at… people?"

"That's how I knew about Carole honey. I've been keeping an eye on you two."

"You did?"

She nodded. "It almost hurt to see you and know I couldn't reach out and hug you. That's the downfall with this. It shows you what you want to see, but…"

"But it will never be _real. _To us at least."

She smiled sadly. "Yes."

"And you can see anyone? Anyone at all?" He was talking faster, heart speeding up.

"Anyone. Any time of day, wherever they are."

"Mom, can… can I see Dad?"

Her face fell. "If you'd like to, yes. But honey, it's not going to be an easy thing to look at. Loss takes a toll on people."

"I want to." The determination that was so prevalent in Burt Hummel shown through in his son.

She nodded. "Just think about who you want to see and then touch the water. Touch it again with a blank mind to clear it." Her finger dipped into the water again, and it was still, reflective just as before.

"I'll be right outside when you're ready." She kissed the top of his head and left.

He took a deep breath and stared into the water. Closing his eyes, he thought hard about his father and touched the water. He almost snatched his hand back in surprise. The water was not cold as he expected, but warm. As if heated by a fire, but not boiling by any means. It was a warmth that was synonymous with life and comfort. He watched the ripples fade one after the other, the hum in his ears, his heart pounding in his chest.

And he saw Burt sitting in a hospital chair, the one that was right outside his room. He saw Finn sitting next to him, head in his hands and he noticed he was trembling. He'd never seen his dad look so… so… broken. Not since his mom died. There were steady tears streaking down his cheeks and he saw the hands clench at his knees. He wanted so badly to give him a hug, to tell him that it was okay, that he was okay.

And then his mind went to someone else.

His eyes widened. "Oh god. Oh no. Oh god."

He quickly changed his thoughts and touched the water again. The image blurred and was immediately replaced by something he recognized. He saw the surroundings of the Dalton choir room, knew right away the thick red curtains and the large room with the dark brown hardwood floor. But he wasn't ready for what else he saw.

Blaine was on his knees in the middle of the room, sobbing uncontrollably. His face held so much pain and agony as he cried. Kurt could hear his shattered screams piercing the still air.

It physically hurt him to see this.

"No. No, baby." Kurt whispered furiously. "Don't. No, please don't."

Tears welled so fast in his eyes and he had to blink repeatedly to stop them from falling. His hands gripped the sides of the basin so hard his muscles were shaking.

He saw Blaine press his forehead to the ground, still sobbing, but his screams were quieting, turning to agonizing moans. Kurt could not look away. He wanted to, but he was unable to. He had to make sure Blaine was… well, he knew he wasn't okay, but he couldn't just ignore him.

He watched with wide eyes as he saw his boyfriend pick himself up and trudge out into the snow. His heart ached as he saw him getting soaked and when he pointedly ignored every gaze that fell on him as he went to the dorms. Blaine dropped to his knees in front of the toilet. And then he watched helplessly as Blaine was sick. His tears dropped from his eyelashes, blurring the image just slightly and creating a tiny splash that glowed within before it reassembled to the scene again. He heard his name uttered by those beautiful lips and moments later, Blaine was sick again.

A soft moan echoed in his ears and his heart clenched when he saw Blaine slip from the toilet and onto the ground. A noise of pain whined from his own throat as Blaine trembled on the floor, eyes squeezed closed, and then, he relaxed with a sigh and was still. He'd blacked out.

Kurt had been unconsciously leaning forward, and now his nose was centimeters away from the water, staring unblinkingly at his boyfriend's body, curled up and motionless on the floor.

With much difficulty, he pushed himself away and crumpled to the floor, his back against the cold stone. His head dropped into shaking hands and he cried.

After mere moments, he felt warm arms around him and he turned towards the comfort without opening his eyes, and his mom held him as he cried.

"Shhhh," she crooned. "It's okay. I'm here. It's alright. You're alright."

She waited until he'd calmed down before saying, "It's a hard thing to process. I'm sorry honey, I should have-"

"No. I wanted to see it." His voice was weak and he looked down at his hands as he spoke. "Is-isn't there anything I can do?" He turned his watery eyes on his mother and whispered, "_Anything? _He's hurting so much and I love him with all my heart and there's got to be something I can do."

She caressed his cheek with her hand, running her thumb over his jaw bone, then stood and glanced down into the basin before kneeling again. "Blaine." She said gently.

Kurt let out a soft sob at the name. Elizabeth gathered him up in her arms again, rocking him slowly.

"The Looking Glass only shows us what's on earth. There's nothing we can do to change what happens there. Believe me, I've tried. But honey, I've kept an eye on Blaine ever since you snuck into Dalton. Yes, I know about that. I saw the way you two looked at each other and when I wasn't watching you, I may have set my sights on him for a bit. He loves you very much and losing someone is never easy. He has friends to help him and-"

"You don't know him Mom. He's not going to ask for help." Kurt moaned. "He's going to try and get through it alone and it's going to hurt him even more."

"You're right. I don't know him. But I do know you, and if you've had any impact on him at all, he'll realize that he can't take this on all by himself. You're right, he's stubborn just like you, but I know he'll do what he needs to in order to heal."

"I'm so scared Mom. It hurts to see him in that much pain. I just want to hold him and kiss him and tell him that I'm okay."

A thoughtful look appeared on her face. "Maybe," she said slowly, "maybe you can. A few times, when the aftermath of my death took its toll on your father, I wanted so badly to let him know I was okay. So, I 'appeared' to him. In a dream."

Kurt's head flicked up, cheeks shining with tear tracks. "You can do that?"

"Yes. I did it for you too, but you probably don't remember."

"No, I do. It was a week after the funeral, and I was crying because I wanted you to read to me and then I kept having to tell myself that you were gone. And I had a dream that you told me that I was going to have to be strong and read on my own, and that you'd always be there with me."

A soft smile appeared on her face and a mist glazed over her eyes. "You do remember."

"So… can I do it?"

She sighed, taking his hand in hers. "There's a reason we don't appear in dreams very often. It's very draining, physically and emotionally. It's a hard thing to do and if it's not done right, you could end up making things worse."

"How can I do it?"

"I'll show you if you really want to, but not today. You're both too emotionally unstable right now."

She brushed her hand against his cheek to wipe away a tear and stood, peering into the basin. "Wes is with him. He's sleeping."

Kurt scrambled up to look too, and what he saw confirmed what she had said, though he wouldn't call tossing and turning and moaning sleeping.

"Come on," his mother said gently and wrapped her arm around his shoulder to lead him away.

She touched the water, and the scene vanished.

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><p>Kurt continued to return to the basin every day after that, to check in on his father, but he mostly watched Blaine. It might sound selfish, but Kurt spent more time watching his boyfriend than his dad. Maybe that was because he knew his dad had Finn and Carole, and he knew that Blaine, figuratively, had no one.<p>

It hurt him to watch Blaine suffer and it hurt even worse when he understood _why _he was going through this pain. It was more than just sadness at Kurt's death, it was much more than that. It was guilt and self-hatred and agony that he inflicted upon himself with his thoughts and Kurt wanted more than anything to help him. Every day he practically begged his mother to let him try to get into Blaine's dreams, but every day, his requests weren't granted.

He was staring into the water, watching Blaine have a conversation with Wes. Wes had just had a mini freak-out when he noticed Blaine was gone and had spent the past ten minutes searching for him, and eventually finding him sitting alone under a tree. Kurt chastised Blaine. He wasn't wearing a proper jacket or even a sweater. He was sitting there in his sweatpants and a t-shirt, as if he was lounging around studying. He was shivering and Kurt spoke aloud, telling him to get inside or else he'd freeze out there. He couldn't help the slight desperation that leaked into his voice, though he knew Blaine could not hear him.

Blaine held the library's copy of Goodnight Moon. He was cradling it tenderly and Kurt wanted to just reach out and hold his hand.

Wes had been taking care of Blaine, the best care he could give anyway. But it meant more to Kurt than words could say. Just knowing that there was someone there to look out for Blaine was comforting, even if he could do no more than hug him and try fruitlessly to get him to go talk to someone. He watched Wes follow Blaine inside and did a silent happy dance as Wes had gotten Blaine to agree to eat. He'd been yelling that exact plea every time he saw Blaine. He looked thinner. He didn't look like himself. It was heartbreaking.

"Please Mom." He begged, holding onto her wrist as he leaned across the table. They were eating lunch at the grand table that was filled twenty-four-seven with whatever food you could think of. But he didn't eat. "Blaine needs me. Wes just got him to eat. That's a big step. He's not refusing help. This could be a breakthrough. I need to tell him it's okay before he relapses and goes back into his cave of blame that he doesn't deserve to trap himself in."

Elizabeth looked over at her son, saw his eyes glossy with tears and determined hopefulness.

She sighed. "Alright. Yes, it would be dangerous to do when he's hurting so badly, so I suppose it's a good time." She drummed her fingers on the hard tabletop. "Well, eat something now. You need your strength for this."

He did as he was told without a word other than, "Thank you."

After she'd made sure he'd eaten enough, Elizabeth took her son by the hand and lead him to a pasture, where dazzling green grass spread out for miles. She whistled and two horses came out from the distance, their long manes and tails fluttering out behind them.

"This is faster." She explained, while pulling Kurt behind her and closer to the horses.

They stood absolutely still, hot breath fuming from their nostrils. Kurt stepped up hesitantly to the horse closest to him and stared, unsure.

"Here hon." His mom gave him a boost and he clamored up onto the horse, knees digging into the horse's side, hands tangled in the mane.

Elizabeth trotted up beside him. He'd gone stiff, afraid to move for fear of falling off. This horse was a lot taller than it looked from on the ground.

"Relax. Sit up straight. Aphrodite won't let you fall."

"Aphrodite?" Kurt repeated, trying to follow his mother's instructions.

"The horses out here are named for the gods and goddesses. This here," she patted her horse's mane, who whined happily, "is Cupid." Her eyes raked over her son, now sitting up as tall as he could manage. "Good. Let's go."

She cantered off and for a split second, Kurt almost called her back, as he didn't know what to do. But Aphrodite didn't need to be told. His horse followed alongside his mother's as if she knew where to go. All he had to do was hold on. And he began to relax, his muscles going slack and the initial fear dissipated.

These horses moved faster than any horse he'd seen on earth. Their hooves seemed to glide over the grass, and the surroundings that blurred past suggested they were going as fast, if not faster, than a car, and yet, the horses showed no sign of effort. None at all that showed that they were going any faster than a leisurely stroll.

After a little while, they began to slow, as Kurt realized not by feel, the ride had been much too smooth for that, but by the way that the trees around them came into focus. His mother dismounted and he did the same, giving his horse a loving pat on the neck. They trotted over to a stream and began to drink, whinnying contentedly. Kurt followed his mom, who had begun to walk through the trees. They had only gone twenty feet when Kurt was face-to-face with the biggest tree he had ever seen in his life. _Huge_ didn't even begin to cover it. The trunk was roughly the size of his bedroom on earth and it sprouted up more than twice as tall as his house had been. Thick, weaving branches cascaded above him, weighted with thousands upon thousands of perfectly shaped leaves, so dense he couldn't see the sky through them. It was cold in the shadow of the tree and he could only stare in wonder.

"It's something huh?" His mother elbowed him in the ribs, breaking his trance.

"Yeah."

She smiled at him and walked up to the trunk, pressing lightly in certain areas. "I haven't been here in so long, I wonder if… Ah! There it is." And she pressed her finger to a knot set at eye-level. She stood back and amazingly, the wood began to splinter. A crack, beginning at the forest floor, started shimmying up the trunk and then cut across horizontally and stopped suddenly. With a sound like a small pop, the cut-out section swung forward on invisible hinges.

It was dark inside and Kurt felt a chill ripple down his spine.

"I can't go in there with you honey, so I'm afraid you'll have to go alone. Do you still want to do this?"

He bit his lip for the briefest of seconds, and then he met her gaze and said without fear, "Yes. I have to."

She nodded. "Okay. There's nothing to be scared of. It's going to seem a bit frightening at first, but just relax and let the tree do its work."

"Sorry, but _its _work?"

"It's hard to explain. Sort of like… like a connection."

"So I need to be _plugged in_?"

"Sort of. Just sit on the chair. Once the connection is formed, your mind should go blank. You need to focus hard on whose mind you want to enter. Be very specific. Picture the person in your mind as best you can. You'll know if you've entered their dream. From there, you can control what you do within the dream. But it's very important that you know your limits. If you stay too long, you run the risk of losing yourself into the dream, and thus the person whose dreams you're visiting too."

"What happens to them?"

"They never wake up. They're lost in the dream world, at least, their minds are."

"You said _if _I enter their dream. What happens if I don't?"

"You'll know. Then you just pull your thoughts back to the tree and you'll wake up here."

Kurt bit his lip. He wasn't sure if this was such a good idea now. "What if I hurt him? What if he doesn't wake up?"

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to. But if it helps, I know that you'll make the right calls. From experience, it's easiest to know when to leave based on their movements. You'll be able to feel what they're doing in their sleep. With your father, it was his snoring. With you, it was your legs kicking. Everyone does something that you can feed off of. You'll know when it's time to leave."

He nodded, feeling slightly better. He took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Wes was taking him to the dorms earlier. I heard him talk to Finn on the phone for a bit as we were leaving. I'd bet he's asleep by now."

"If he's not?"

"Then come back out and we can wait until he does fall asleep. But he's exhausted honey. I'm sure he's asleep by now."

He gave a grateful smile to his mom and let his feet carry him inside the tree trunk, feeling a bit like he was about to enter some child's play tent. But inside, it was anything but child-like. It held only a simple chair, straight-backed and seeming as if it had been carved in one piece from the tree itself. The legs extended into the wood without a seam. Feeling a bit silly, he sat down on the chair as his mom had told him.

Immediately, branches uncoiled out of nowhere. They unfurled themselves and skated across the air, heading straight for him. They wrapped gently around his wrists and ankles and a thick branch ensnared his waist. His breathing quickened, but he did not struggle. Elizabeth had said to be calm. And he doubted very much that the tree would try and hurt him.

His eyes scanned around and he saw two thinner branches wiggling their way towards his face. He fought the urge to lean away as they pressed lightly against his temples, where a sticky substance was connecting them to his head. He felt warm all over and then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his whole body went rigid for a moment. A bright light burst from behind his eyelids and he would have screamed in surprise had he been able to make a sound.

And then, he was seeing flashes. He saw flashes of his thoughts. He saw the tree and felt his fear. He thought of his mom. And he saw her, petting the horses by the stream. He thought of Blaine. And he saw him, asleep on his bed in the dorm. He relaxed and let his thoughts drift, closing out everything that wasn't Blaine.

He took a breath, concentrating hard on Blaine, and suddenly, he was _there._

He saw Blaine lying on snow in his dream. He was breathing very shallowly, eyes closing. Kurt walked forward, feeling the familiar comfort of his favorite cashmere sweater on his skin. He knelt down beside Blaine and pressed his hand to his cheek. The man on the ground looked up and whispered Kurt's name.

Kurt smiled, removing his hand and offering it to him and pulling Blaine up. He hugged him so tightly. He wanted to say so many things, but the first thing he told him was, "I miss you."

He led Blaine through the warm fluffy snow, because somehow, he knew where he was going, and kept a hold on his hand the entire time, finally sitting down on a bench.

Blaine poured his heart out, telling Kurt things that broke his heart and asking questions that he had no idea how to answer.

"Why did you have to die?" Blaine's breath hitched.

Kurt let his gaze soften, seeing the tears in his boyfriend's eyes. "You're asking a lot of hard questions baby." He breathed.

Blaine told him he couldn't live without him. Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's temple and told him simply that he loved him. That was all Kurt could do. He could still love him. That would never change.

Blaine's fingers reached up and gripped at the material of Kurt's sweater, pulling him close in need. His lips were on Kurt's and Kurt could feel the warm tears that fell from Blaine's cheeks onto his own. Kurt kissed him with more passion than he'd ever felt. Because he didn't know when he would get to again. Too soon, Blaine pulled away and they sat with their foreheads touching. Kurt could feel Blaine shift in his sleep, begin to toss and turn.

_No. It's too soon._

Blaine closed his eyes and wound his fingers with Kurt's, telling him he loved him too.

And Kurt smiled, wanting so badly to stay, but knowing he had to leave.

He reluctantly took one last look at the sleeping man as he pulled out of the dream and pressed his hand to Blaine's cheek before reluctantly turning his thoughts back to the tree. And he was _there._

Kurt was suddenly glad for the restraints of the branches, for he was sure he would have slid right out of the chair had he not had them there. The branches on his temples were gone, the stickiness of the bonding sap still warm on his skin. He took deep breaths, the tears he didn't know he'd cried drying on his cheeks. He carefully flexed his hand and the branch unwound from around his wrist, disappearing back into the darkness. He repeated that motion for all of the branches, though the one on his waist didn't leave. Instead, it lifted him up and half hoisted him to the door, which opened without him touching anything. Then it set him down gently on his feet. He felt the branch slither away from him and he took a step, instantly feeling his legs go weak and he stumbled forward with a soft moan.

His mom was there in a second, catching him and guiding him down to the grass. She laid him on his back and smoothed her cool hand across his brow.

"It's alright." She said calmly. "Deep breaths. The dizziness will go away in a little while. Are you thirsty?"

He nodded, realizing at once how dry his throat was. She pressed a small leather water skin into his hand, which held much more water than it looked capable of. He drank until he couldn't anymore and laid back on the grass, letting it form around him and sinking deeper as he waited for the world to stop spinning around him.

"I'm so proud of you." Elizabeth said above him, her hand still moving lightly over his brow.

He had seen Blaine. He had been with Blaine. He had held his hand. He had kissed him, told him he loved him.

And he smiled, the gentle tears of want and hopeless wishing falling down his cheeks.

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize for any grammarspelling mistakes. **


	2. Part 2

Kurt had slept for a while after that and he awoke in his room without knowing how he got there. Well, his room in heaven that is.

Everything was decorated in shades of cream and pale blue and for a moment, he thought he was floating on a cloud. But that was just the bed, which was the softest he'd ever slept on and the thread count of these sheets that never got dirty or smelled or needed washing ever had ceased to amuse him because, well, he was in heaven and he was spending eternity here. He figured that he'd damn well have some comfy sheets if that was the case.

His eyes opened blearily and without thinking about it, he got up and immediately began the familiar walk up the path and the many stairs that lead to the 'temple,' as he had fondly grown to call it. He stared down into the basin, clearing his thoughts of anything except Blaine and lightly touched the unmoving water within.

The scene instantly swam into focus. He stared down lovingly at the dark-haired man who was reading a note in his hand. His eyes followed Blaine as he disappeared into the bathroom and stared into his reflection. Kurt sighed heavily. Blaine looked horrible. He was so pale and his eyes were ringed with dark circles. Blaine leaned against the sink and splashed water on his face and began to try to smooth down his hair.

Kurt wanted so badly to just hold him. A familiar aching sensation twisted in his stomach.

Blaine left the room and slowly moved across the hall to enter Wes's dorm. He watched as Blaine was enveloped in a hug and then led to a chair, where Wes was speaking to him, smiling as if nothing had changed. Good. If Kurt wanted to hold Blaine right now, he also wanted to hold Wes just as badly. To thank him for what he was doing for Blaine.

The hazel eyes were starting to dart back and forth and his hands were clenching in his lap. Kurt knew that look. He'd seen it once before and it hadn't ended well.

_No baby. Don't do this to yourself. Please. They're just trying to help. _

And he watched as Blaine bolted from his seat and flew out the door, leaving a very confused group of Warblers in his wake. Wes was after him immediately, telling the others to stay inside. Kurt had to physically stop himself from touching the water. Blaine's curled up form, shaking on the floor, was so close, so re_al _that for a moment, Kurt thought that he could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Wes whispered something to him and Blaine began to breathe slower. His hands unfisted from the carpet. He stopped shaking. His panic attack was subsiding.

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief as Blaine sat up and Wes pulled him into a tight hug, then released him. And he almost leaned down to kiss Wes as he said what Kurt had been yelling in his head the entire time.

"I think it'd be… better for you if you went… back to Lima."

_Good. Good. Burt and Carole can help him. Please, Blaine. You need help. You're too stubborn to accept it and you're too fragile to do this on your own. You need them._

"I can't go back."

Kurt groaned at the stiffness in Blaine's voice.

_No no no no no. You need to! Please baby. _

"Kurt?"

He'd been so engrossed in the scene in front of him that he hadn't noticed his mother lightly calling his name for the past few minutes. She now raised her voice to almost a shout and brought Kurt out of his trance. His head snapped up.

"Kurt, honey?"

He wanted so badly to keep watching. He had to know what Blaine did next. He _needed _to know.

But he forced himself to keep his eyes on his mother. She wore a disapproving look. He waited.

"Honey, can I talk to you?"

He straightened up, one hand protectively on the basin's edge.

"Outside?"

Oh. He took a longing glance back at the water, where Wes was sitting with Blaine, arguing slightly. He wanted to disobey, to keep watching, but he pulled his hand away and reluctantly cleared the water. His mother held out a hand and she wrapped it around his shoulders as she led him to the steps and sat down.

She sighed heavily and looked sideways at him. "This is a special place. Would you agree?"

She tilted her head back a bit and he knew she was talking about the temple.

"Yes." He breathed. This place was more sacred to him than any other place he'd ever known since he'd left his life on earth. There were so many places here, everything he could ever want, dream of, wish for. But there was only one place he needed to be able to go to. Here, he could see Blaine. Hear him. He hadn't gone back into Blaine's dreams only because he didn't want to mess something up and hurt him. His heart ached for him to go back, where he could actually talk to and touch and _feel _Blaine, but the risk of doing something wrong and hurting him forever was enough that Kurt stayed away and instead spent every moment he had here, safely watching.

"Do you notice how there's no other angels ever here?"

Kurt froze. He'd never heard his mom refer to them as 'angels' before and it made something within him hurt. It brought him back to this crushing reality, the fact that he wasn't a being of earth anymore, when he'd been _so close _to Blaine just a moment ago. So close that he'd almost felt as though he was there with him, real and alive and a human on earth.

"I guess not." He whispered.

"There's a reason baby." Elizabeth whispered softly. "It… the Looking Glass, it's a very powerful thing. In more ways than one. You know what it can do and how amazing it is. But it's also powerful in another way. In a way that isn't good for you. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

He paused and shook his head. "No."

She put her arm around his shoulders again, holding him close to her. "Honey, the other angels don't come here anymore because it hurts too much. Seeing the ones they love back on earth and knowing that they can't be with them." Her voice grew lower, gentler. "It's hurting you Kurt."

He automatically pulled back. "I… it's…" He felt the flustered thoughts bubble up and he couldn't find the words. "I need to see him."

She couldn't tell him to stop looking. She couldn't. He wouldn't listen.

"I know you do. But-"

"You said yourself that you watched over me and dad!" Kurt countered, angry now. "You can't just take him away from me!"

"I did watch over you two, yes, but honey, you're spending way too much time here. I did look, but only for a little while. An hour at the most, maybe a few times a month. Baby, you're here almost all day every day. The Looking Glass can be a great thing, but if not used carefully, it can hurt more than help."

She couldn't do this. She couldn't.

"I need to know he's okay." He whispered brokenly, feeling his anger die down quickly.

Elizabeth sighed. Her hand fell from around his shoulders. "I know how hard it is Kurt. It was so hard to pull myself away, when I realized that it was hurting me more than I thought. They don't know that you can see them and honey, you aren't going to be able to do anything for them. They can't get hurt from this, but you can. Please Kurt. I can't watch you do this to yourself."

Everything in his mind was telling him no. Don't agree to this. You can't just abandon him.

But he looked up at his mom and saw the faint sparkle of tears in her eyes and he knew this was really hurting her. So he sat up a little taller and nodded. "Okay mom."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "I know that was difficult. And you can still come here, let's say once a week for an hour?"

He nodded into her shoulder, knowing full well that he wasn't going to comply. He had a plan.

* * *

><p>The sky was a gorgeous shade of navy. There wasn't a cloud in sight and the air seemed so clear now. Stars, sparkling like diamonds, winked down at him, silently scolding him for what he was doing. But he didn't care. Screw the stars. Defy gravity. He was going to do this.<p>

Kurt had thrown aside the covers on his bed and tiptoed as quietly as he could outside. He didn't bother bringing a jacket; he knew it would be warm outside. It was always warm here. But never uncomfortably hot, always just a gentle heat with a slight breeze when the sun sunk down behind the picturesque rolling green mountains.

He made it out of the house and he smiled. It hadn't been as hard as he'd thought. No booby traps, no hidden cameras, no lock on his door. He moved with bare feet down the familiar path.

He felt his heart jump with excitement as he approached the basin. Taking a breath, he closed his eyes and thought of Blaine.

And he was looking down on his father, who was kneeling in front of a distraught Blaine. He listened as his dad told Blaine that he was the best thing to ever happen to Kurt. And Kurt felt the tears well in his own eyes because every word he said was true.

"We can keep their memory alive and cherish the time we had with them, but blame and hatred are no way to remember the ones we loved."

_Thank you dad. He can't blame himself. _

The scene dissolved and suddenly he saw Finn and Blaine sitting together on the bed in the guest room. Finn was talking about the time that he'd been there when Kurt had been bullied.

He remembered that day. He'd been scared and he looked to Finn because his was the only kind face he could see after being shrouded in fear.

He listened. Finn felt guilty. He thought that Kurt hadn't known that he loved him.

_I did Finn. I knew. I love you too. _

And he heard them talking about the night he had died.

It was a difficult thing to hear. He'd remembered that he was talking to Finn and then it was hard to breathe and his heart was pumping so slowly…. And then he'd opened his eyes and he was _here._ It hadn't hurt at all, but he didn't remember most of it. Hearing what Finn remembered and what Blaine went through, that hurt.

He looked away. This did hurt.

But he was glad that had each other. He had seen Blaine suffer and he knew that going through this alone was only cutting deeper. He knew that they had to lean on each other. And he was glad that they were together now, glad that Blaine had finally went to get help, glad to see that he knew he couldn't do this alone.

* * *

><p>The next time Kurt risked sneaking out again, he found himself looking down on a scene that he thought might just be it.<p>

It. The time where he fell apart. The time where this became too much and he finally would heed his mother's warning.

_They can't get hurt from this, but you can._

Blaine was singing. The sky was grey and heavy with thick, dark clouds. It was going to rain. Kurt could almost smell the rain in the air.

He was standing in front of a casket. His casket. Dark black stained wood with a mound of white lilies on the top.

It was weird. He knew that he, his body, was in that casket. But he couldn't feel it. He didn't feel any of the suffocating wood around him or the silent stillness of his form. No, he felt free. He was here.

But Blaine….

Blaine was singing, voice so raw, so hurt, so broken, so soft. _Somewhere Only We Know._

The song itself was perfect, Kurt thought. And he was so proud of Blaine. So proud. He could see what this was doing to him, how much he was still aching inside. But he was so proud of him.

Kurt let himself become lost in Blaine's voice. It sent chills down his spine. He stared into those hazel eyes, red with tears, and fought the urge to press his lips to his cheek.

He was _right there._

He knew then what his mom was talking about. Kurt knew that Blaine was beyond the place where he could reach out and touch him. And it was hurting him more than he could have thought possible.

He watched as Blaine turned and broke down, sobbing, with his hand on the casket.

Kurt's arms were shaking.

Blaine cried, pressed his forehead down onto his hand.

Kurt's shaking breaths tore from his lungs.

Blaine took deep breaths, his lips touching so lightly against the wood under his palm. "I'll never say goodbye to you."

Kurt wanted to throw up, his stomach twisted in a huge knot. _I won't either. Never. _

He closed his eyes and set his head on his arms, letting the shimmering tears fall for a long time. When he looked back up, Blaine was sitting in his room, alone.

Kurt choked back his tears and made himself watch. He needed to know that Blaine wasn't going to just let himself recede back into what he'd finally been able to escape.

And Mercedes walked in, handing him a drink and sitting down. She spoke softly and Kurt hung on to every word.

Then Mercedes began to sing.

_Thank you. Thank you Mercedes. Thank you. _

Blaine needed to know that he wasn't alone. And if there was anyone who was going to convince him of that fact, Kurt knew that it would be Mercedes Jones.

He'd made her promise that she would let Blaine know that he would be okay. Kurt knew that Blaine was strong and he knew that he was going to be past the point of dealing with this in a right state of mind. So he'd put everything he had into the two women he knew he could trust. Mercedes was one of them, and she'd done her job beautifully, just as Kurt knew she would.

Blaine flung his arms around her when she finished singing and Kurt wished so badly that he could do the same.

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked softly.

After a pause, Blaine answered and Kurt could tell that he wasn't lying to make her feel better. No, he was telling the truth and Kurt had never been so glad to have been able to know these two amazing people in his life.

"I think I am."

_You will Blaine. You might not know it now, but you'll be okay._

Then Mercedes left and Kurt wanted to jump for joy. It was the first time in so long that he heard something other than utter agony in Blaine's voice.

A while later, Burt and Carole returned home and his gaze followed his stepmother. She went straight to Blaine's room and asked him if he was okay. The truthfulness in Blaine's voice made something in her face change and her voice sounded a bit different.

Kurt knew what she had decided. He watched when she left Blaine for a moment to quickly enter the master bedroom and duck into her closet. She pulled out two boxes and Kurt smiled, knowing what was inside.

Blaine looked confused when Carole placed them in his lap and explained what they were, but Kurt was anything but worried about it. He knew that this would help.

Carole left and Kurt waited for Blaine to open the first box, but he just stared at them. With a slightly heavy heart, he saw Blaine place them next to the bookcase and crawl in bed.

He'd wanted him to open them. But he understood that it would be a difficult thing to do.

So Kurt contented himself with watching Blaine sleep and his heartbreakingly miserable face softened into a dream-like calm.

The sun rose steadily, casting a pale pink glow when Kurt finally let himself go back home.


	3. Part 3

Christmas passed in a whirlwind of garlands, shining streamers, presents and cookies.

Kurt watched longingly as his family opened presents on Christmas morning. He wished he could be there with them.

Blaine had cried himself to sleep the night before, after excusing himself from the room to run to the comfort of the guest room. He had hugged a pillow to his chest and Kurt knew exactly what he was thinking about because his head was swimming with the same thoughts. Blaine had froze mid-sentence and Kurt saw his chest begin to heave. Blaine's eyes were glued on the radio and Kurt almost couldn't hear the song because of the pounding of his heart in his ears. But he took deep breaths and then he recognized the song, watched as Blaine curled up on his bed. The memory of last year, when Blaine had asked Kurt to sing Baby It's Cold Outside with him was running through his head, like a reeling movie screen. A soft, aching smile came to Kurt's lips. That song would forever be ingrained in his memory as the first song he sang with Blaine and how adorable he thought Blaine looked. It hurt that this was painful to Blaine, but Kurt knew that it was only because he was feeling the loss more. Kurt wished he would open the boxes.

But after some persuading from Carole, Blaine had opened all his presents on Christmas morning and Kurt was glad to see a smile on his face. And when he saw Blaine jump up and disappear, he was as curious as the rest of the family. When he saw his boyfriend reappear with his guitar, Kurt sighed contentedly. Blaine was going to sing for them. He was nervous, Kurt could tell by the way Blaine's hand gripped the neck of the guitar tighter and the way he licked his lips.

_Go on. You can do this._

Blaine took a seat and began to strum his fingers against the strings. Kurt recognized the notes immediately. He was singing 'Not Alone.' Involuntary tears welled in his eyes as Blaine began to sing. He could hear the strength in Blaine's voice, the soft power, as if he'd been asleep for a very long time. And Kurt was proud of him.

He could see the way his father sat so still, a feat even Carole had seemed unable to accomplish. His father had what Kurt lovingly dubbed 'spider legs' because he couldn't stop moving. It was even hard to get him to sit still for a movie. But Burt Hummel might as well have been a statue. And Kurt knew that Blaine was getting through to him.

Kurt felt bad. He felt so guilty. He'd been spending all of his time watching Blaine and hardly any watching the rest of his family. He'd just figured that they had each other, but he hadn't noticed how much this was affecting his father. He'd been torn apart.

Burt seemed to have aged ten years. The lines by his eyes seemed to be etched deeper, the skin under his eyes was dark, his lips seemed permanently drawn down in a slight frown, and the light-hearted laughter was gone from his eyes.

Kurt's gaze switched to Carole. She too, seemed more aged. Her eyes looked small and the skin on her cheeks seemed to sag a bit. She held Burt's hand tighter and rested her chin on his shoulder, smiling softly as Blaine sang.

Finn was, well, very much still _Finn. _But he too had changed. He looked pale, tired, the ghosting shadow of not having enough sleep showed in the slight bags under his eyes. He was staring at Blaine with a mixture of fascination, admiration, and hurt.

Blaine finished the song and let his eyes glance up to meet Burt's, as if worried that he'd overstepped some boundary. But Burt stood and wrapped him in a hug and Kurt's face broke out into a smile.

He was so proud of both of them. Blaine, for finding the courage to sing in the first place, and his dad, for accepting the gesture.

* * *

><p>The next time Kurt was able to sneak away wasn't for another week. He had a feeling that his mother knew what he was doing, but she hadn't tried to stop him again, so he didn't say anything. He had tried to heed her warning, that the Looking Glass could hurt him more than it was worth, but Kurt just couldn't leave. Not yet. He couldn't stop looking until he knew that Blaine and his family were okay. So, he stepped up to the basin and dipped his finger in lightly, the immediate warmth from the water at his touch comforting.<p>

Blaine was sitting on the ground, back up against the door, reading a letter that was smoothed up against his thighs.

Kurt began to panic. He saw the handwriting and knew it was his own. When had Blaine opened the boxes? Kurt was supposed to be there for that! He needed to know that Blaine wouldn't be hurt again. His eyes scanned the room quickly. He locked onto the dresser. One. Two. Three. Four.

Blaine had placed four of the items on the dresser. Where were the rest? Then he noticed a pile next to Blaine's hip. The box was empty. There was a small picture frame in Blaine's hand.

Blaine let the note and frame slip from his fingers onto his lap as he dropped his face into his hands.

_No! No, baby, no. This is supposed to help. Don't cry. Please, please don't cry, _Kurt begged him silently.

Kurt cursed himself. He was making Blaine hurt more. It was all his fault and his stupid idea. He'd made Finn watch P.S. I Love You with him the week that he'd decided he wanted to leave something for Blaine. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should have known that it would take more than damn material things and obviously cutting memories to help Blaine. He should have known it would just remind Blaine of the things they wouldn't be able to see or do and it would hurt more. He should have-

Wait. Hold up.

Blaine wasn't crying.

Blaine. Was. Not. Crying.

He took composing breaths and sat up, then gathered the pile next to him and got up, arranging them carefully in a line on his dresser. Kurt watched, jaw slightly open, as Blaine sat on his bed and closed the lid of the box. There were no new tears on Blaine's face. He stood and set the empty box by his bed and then softly touched the corner of the picture frame and smiled.

He smiled.

Blaine _smiled. _A real smile.

Kurt couldn't believe it. His heart was calming down. Blaine was okay; he could see that now. He returned the picture frame to its place at the end of the line of items on the dresser and turned to head to the bathroom. Kurt heard the shower water turn on and for the first time in what felt like years, he touched the water, returning it to its glass-like state, and he felt relief.

* * *

><p>Kurt had not expected this. Not at all.<p>

And neither had David or Blaine apparently.

It was clear on Blaine's face. _What the hell is going on?_

Kurt almost wanted to laugh at the look of loathing that seemed so out-of-place on Blaine's beautiful face. But Kurt couldn't laugh. His breath was caught in his lungs.

Who was sitting on his bed?

The kid's eyes took in David, who had just noticed him and given him a look full of confusion, and then raked over to Blaine, who had not moved a muscle. His eyes darted away almost as soon as he caught Blaine's gaze and he chose to keep his eyes on David as he asked him if this was some kind of joke.

The kid looked nice enough, Kurt thought. Straight brown hair that brushed along his forehead, slight evidence of freckles on a small nose, skin not as pale as his own but still smooth, and a welcoming crease of the skin by his eyes as he smiled, showing straight white teeth. But the thing that stood out the most, was his eyes. Kurt had never seen eyes so green. It was like the kid had emeralds for irises, they sparkled and twinkled like the jewel.

He introduced himself to David and Kurt immediately repeated the name in his head.

Caleb.

Blaine took Caleb's hand hesitantly, the loathing look less prominent now, but indecision still etched on his face.

"Oh, and I'm gay."

Kurt heard _that _sentence quite clearly. His ears pricked. He leaned forward, studying the boy in Blaine's dorm. He actually _winked_ as he explained that it's easier to announce that first.

Caleb looked relieved when Blaine said that he was gay too, though he noticed the way Blaine's voice shook. Caleb reddened when he stumbled over his words, the blush coloring his cheeks and making his eyes stand out even more when he looked down in embarrassment.

David left soon after that and Blaine was alone with Caleb.

Kurt watched as Caleb folded his long legs up to set a sketch pad on his thighs, holding a pencil in his hand as he watched Blaine, who was unpacking the boxes of his dorm stuff.

Caleb said something to Blaine that Kurt didn't hear, being too engrossed in watching for Blaine's reactions, the unsure look disappearing from his face. Caleb's laugh was a slightly scratchy sound, but it was real and appealing nonetheless. Blaine smiled lightly, laughing along with him.

They had a short conversation, and Kurt hung onto every word, making sure he didn't miss anything. There was a pang of jealousy that had lodged itself in Kurt's chest, but he had to admit that this Caleb kid was truly nice and very understanding.

Kurt sucked in a sharp breath when Caleb commented how lucky it was that this dorm was open, considering it's hard to find a room mid-semester with only one student. Blaine answered that he had had a roommate and Kurt didn't miss the audible pain in his voice. Neither did Caleb apparently because he waited a long time before cautiously asking what happened.

Blaine avoided the question as best he could, telling Caleb that he would tell him eventually, but not now. And Kurt was glad when Caleb didn't press the matter.

He watched as Blaine laid on his bed and closed his exhausted eyes as Caleb went back to his drawing. Kurt's heart was hammering. And he was sure Blaine's was too.

* * *

><p><em>If happy little bluebirds fly<em>

_Beyond the rainbow_

_Why, oh why, can't I?_

There were silent tears falling down Kurt's cheeks as he watched Blaine sing.

He'd been so surprised when he found himself looking down at the Carmel High School auditorium, where he knew Regionals was being held this year. But it wasn't really what he saw that surprised him. No, it was what he heard.

The beats had been much slower, the notes soft and so unlike what they'd been practicing for months. Why did they slow it down? It wasn't-

And then Blaine had begun to sing.

It had been a completely different song. They'd changed songs.

They'd c_hanged songs._

Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Definitely not the pop mix they'd been practicing last time Kurt heard the Warblers sing. He didn't know why they'd decided to change songs. The first thought that popped into Kurt's head was that it was idiotic and stupid and they were going to lose now and how could they do this? This competition was everything. If they won, they went to New York. If they lost, they went back to singing at nursing homes. Kurt knew how much this meant to all of them. Why, why, _why _had they done this?

But then Kurt's brain stopped firing off questions. He stopped everything. He stopped breathing. He could only stare, transfixed in amazement, at Blaine. And then he didn't care why they'd changed songs. He didn't care if Blaine started singing the theme song from Barney. Blaine's voice was… angelic. There was no other word to describe it. The way he sang, made Kurt's heart stutter and his mind go blank because all he could do was listen to the words Blaine sang. There were tears streaming down Blaine's cheeks and Kurt was sure there were tears in the rest of the Warblers' eyes too, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Blaine to see if that was true.

Blaine was beautiful. And Kurt didn't care that they'd changed songs.

When Blaine finished and the last note fell away to thunderous applause, the curtain dropped and Kurt lost Blaine, only because he'd been engulfed in so many arms as every Warbler pressed in as they hugged each other. Kurt smiled.

_I'm so proud of you._

* * *

><p>Kurt learned a lot in the week that followed the Warblers second place victory at Regionals.<p>

Caleb was probably the best friend Blaine could have right now. Blaine still hurt, Kurt could see that clearly and he knew that he wouldn't want someone else to know what was going on with him. He bottled his emotions until they exploded. Kurt wanted so badly for Blaine to open up to Caleb, to tell him what had happened.

Kurt learned that Caleb was a transfer from Taylor Day. And he didn't like to talk about what had made him switch schools. Blaine and Caleb were alike in that way, not wanting to tell others things that had happened. He had told Thad that he'd transferred because his parents "had the money." Liar. There was a slight pause before that sentence and he'd smiled softly as he said it, not giving anyone reason to believe that it wasn't true. But Kurt had heard the sharp intake of breath, seen the slight widening of his eyes. And he knew that Blaine had seen it too. They both had secrets. And it was only a matter of time before one of them caved. Kurt just hoped with everything that he had that Blaine was at least sitting down when the dam broke.

Kurt learned that Caleb was patient and empathetic. Kurt had been watching helplessly as Blaine struggled in the depths of a nightmare for twenty minutes. Blaine hadn't had a nightmare since that night in the dorms so long ago. Kurt couldn't watch him go through this, not again. And yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He was staring wide-eyed as he saw him thrash and moan. Twice, Kurt had to stop himself from reaching out and touching him. No, touching the water. But he was _right there. _He was so close and Kurt wanted to hold him, to tell him it was going to be okay. Kurt begged someone to help him and as Blaine began screaming, Caleb was there, shaking him awake and holding him still. Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief as Blaine's panicked eyes focused on the calming green ones above him. Blaine groaned and Kurt knew he was angry at having a nightmare again. Caleb started to go back to his bed, but Blaine called him back. He watched as Caleb crawled under the blankets with Blaine and laid there with him. Caleb reached up and draped the blanket over Blaine's shoulder as he began to fall back asleep. Kurt's heart ached. He wanted so badly to take Caleb's place, to be there for Blaine, to hold him and tell him he loved him.

Kurt learned that Caleb was observant. Blaine was balancing a tray on which rested a glass of orange juice and a plate of toast with a grapefruit and set it down on a table as he followed Caleb to a place in the dining hall that was mostly empty. Kurt heard his own name and he tensed immediately, wondering what Blaine's reaction would be.

"Who's Kurt?" The green eyes glanced up curiously as he took a bite of bacon.

"Just… just a friend." Blaine's voice was ever-so-slightly higher pitched, as it was when he was lying.

And apparently Caleb had figured that out. A 'don't-pull-that-crap-with-me' look came over his face as he asked, "Are you sure about that?"

"Boyfriend then. Okay?" Blaine's voice was now louder, more forceful. He was done talking about this.

Blaine got defensive at the next set of questions and Kurt wanted to shake him to make Blaine realize that he was being stupid. Caleb could help him and he was closing him out.

_Tell him! Tell him baby. Please. He'll understand. Don't close yourself off._

Caleb stood up as fast as Blaine did. "I care about you, Blaine. I think you've known for a while. But it hurts me that I can't do anything about why you're so upset."

Blaine didn't answer and Kurt felt as though he'd just had the wind knocked out of him. Caleb liked Blaine. Why hadn't he seen it earlier? He'd just assumed that Caleb was being nice, friendly. He hadn't thought that he would fall for Blaine. Then another thought made him freeze. Blaine hadn't been letting him in at all. Was it because he just didn't want to be reminded of the pain of losing Kurt or was it because he was feeling isolated because he'd developed new feelings that made the guilt crash down over him?

Did Blaine like Caleb?

Kurt sighed. Blaine had always been good at hiding his emotions from others and Kurt had always been able to think that he knew his boyfriend well enough to read him like a book. But this was one thing Kurt hadn't seen coming. Blaine hadn't given any sign that he felt something for Caleb. Kurt had chalked his defensiveness and anger and everything else up to still grieving. But what if there was something else?

He knew this would happen eventually. He'd known somewhere deep down that Blaine wasn't going to be alone forever. And he didn't want him to be alone. Caleb would be good for Blaine, he could see that. But it still hurt. But he wanted Blaine to be happy, to not feel like he was letting him down or anything. Caleb could make Blaine happy. That was all Kurt wanted.

Caleb had convinced Blaine to take a walk with him and they were currently making snow angels. Kurt had never seen the appeal in them; he'd rather not have his clothes soaked and covered in snow and who knows what else has been on that ground, thank you very much. But he could see it now. The way Blaine was smiling and laughing, the way he looked so carefree and alive and Kurt wished he would have made a snow angel with Blaine.

Caleb had told Blaine that he was sorry and that he wanted to help him. Kurt believed him. He just wished that Blaine would let him in.

Grinning a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, Caleb teased Blaine about how his snow angel was the better one. Blaine's jaw dropped dramatically and he promptly tossed a handful of snow in Caleb's face, who smiled wickedly and retaliated.

By the time the snow fight was declared a truce, both boys were soaked and shivering, but their cheeks were flushed and they were laughing. The walk back to the dorm was almost silent and Kurt could picture them thinking of hot chocolate, a warm shower, and blankets. He noticed Blaine kept glancing to the side at Caleb. Maybe he did it without realizing he did, but Caleb didn't miss the glances.

"You know, my kisses taste better when my lips aren't frozen."

Blaine immediately reddened and looked down, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as he stumbled over his words.

"No need to apologize. If you wanted a kiss, you just had to ask." Caleb grinned and Kurt saw Blaine's face change one second flat.

He chewed the inside of his cheek and Kurt knew he was thinking. It would hurt, Kurt knew that. But he wanted Blaine to be happy. And if Caleb made him happy, then Kurt was happy for him. For them.

Blaine stopped walking, the toes of his shoes digging into the snow. He swallowed hard and then looked up, and Kurt could see the desperation flash in his eyes. He knew what he was going to do and Kurt steeled himself for it.

"Yes."

Caleb had gone a few feet ahead of Blaine before realizing he'd stopped and turned at his voice.

"Yes?" There was hesitation in that word, as if Caleb wasn't sure if he'd heard right.

But Blaine nodded and then Caleb turned all the way around, closing the distance between them in long strides and immediately cupping Blaine's jaw in his hands and kissing him.

Kurt felt like he'd just jumped into a swimming pool filled with ice. No, not jumped. Pushed.

The shock on Blaine's face was there for a moment and then he rocked forward on his toes and wrapped his arms around Caleb's neck and Caleb's hands were running gently through Blaine's un-gelled, snow-soaked hair.

Kurt clenched his hand. It did hurt. He knew it would, but he had to let Blaine go. And if he was honest with himself, he couldn't have planned for someone as caring and understanding and everything Blaine needed right now to come into his life.

But Blaine wasn't kissing him anymore. He shoved Caleb back as far as he could and began to yell at him not to touch him. Caleb froze with hurt and confusion, but he held his hands up to show that he wasn't going to come closer.

"I'm not. I'm not. Blaine, it's-"

_Blaine don't do this. Please. Don't do this to yourself._

Kurt watched, unable to do anything, as Blaine tore off through the snow, back the way they had come.

_Blaine! Go back! Don't leave him. He doesn't want to hurt you. Please, Blaine, let him in!_

Kurt was practically sobbing as he yelled at Blaine, knowing he couldn't hear him. Blaine kept going until he reached the choir room, flung open the door and slammed it closed behind him. He dropped down onto one of the stairs and held his head in his hands and let the tears begin to fall.

He was shaking so badly, Kurt knew this was really upsetting him. He cried and cried as he sat alone in the choir room.

_Please go back to him. Caleb will understand. Just tell him baby. Tell him. _

Blaine threw his vibrating cell phone across the room, where it smashed into the wall, separating back cover from the phone and sending the battery flying. Kurt winced.

Blaine cried for a long time, until his tears ran dry. Then he picked up the pieces of his phone and made his way back to the dorm. When he lifted his head up, Kurt could see the change on his face. His eyes were hard with determination, his jaw set in courage.

He was going to tell Caleb what happened.

* * *

><p>There had been tears and whispered words and aching silence and trembling breaths, but Blaine had finally told Caleb everything. And Kurt wanted to jump for joy that Blaine had confided in him. And Caleb did understand, just as Kurt knew he would. He knew Caleb would be sympathetic and not pressuring at all, but he hadn't expected Caleb to <em>really<em> understand. But he did.

Because Caleb had lost someone too.

His brother had committed suicide and Kurt's heart almost stopped in his chest. He never knew. Caleb had never said anything or even done anything that let on that he had lost a brother. But after he told Blaine what had happened, Kurt knew that Caleb would be able to help him in more ways that he initially thought. They were both hurting, they both needed support, and they could be there for each other.

Kurt almost felt bad for eavesdropping on this conversation, because it was so personal. But once he started listening, he couldn't stop.

He listened to Caleb pour his heart out and then console Blaine, telling him that he would be there for him if he wanted and that he was sorry he kissed him if it made him hurt more. And Kurt knew Caleb was telling him the truth. Kurt wanted Caleb to be there for Blaine.

He wanted Blaine to be okay.


	4. Part 4

Oh shit. Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Kurt was freaking out.

Now, it must be known that Kurt does not curse. He did not curse on earth and he wasn't about to make a habit of it in this place. He still refused to call it heaven, though there really was no other explanation. He supposed he kind of had to believe in heaven now, but he still had no proof that a higher being existed here, or anywhere. Or a magical flying teapot that housed an evil dwarf that shot lighting out of its boobs. He'd looked. No evil dwarf.

However, Kurt was one to make exceptions, like the time he wore the previous year's Marc Jacobs cardigan because it went with the rest of his outfit. That was an exception.

And he was making one now.

His hands were pressed flat against the smooth edges of the basin. This could not be happening.

He knew it wouldn't help anything. He knew that no one, except his mother and he had silently thanked the evil dwarf that she wasn't within earshot, would be able to hear him. But it made him feel a bit better.

"Shit!"

Remembering that other angels did in fact walk by here, though no one came in, he was still in a place with no walls, only drop-dead gorgeous columns, which did absolutely nothing when you wanted to be quiet. He looked around quickly and lowered his voice to a hiss.

"Go. Back. Home."

Finn had honorable intentions. Really, he did. And Kurt could even see why he was doing this. But Kurt wanted nothing more in this moment than to be able to reach out and shove Finn as hard as he could and yell at him a bit.

Probably more than a bit, but he would take what he could get.

Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those 'you've been a good boy, so you can go on earth for a few minutes' deals.

Kurt had his eyes locked on Finn, who was driving a bit stiffer than usual, mumbling to himself and narrowing his eyes. He quickly pulled his thoughts away from Finn and concentrated on Blaine.

The scene dissolved and Kurt was looking at Blaine from behind. No, really, he was. Not like _that. _Admittedly, he did sneak a peek at his lovely boyfriend's lovely behind, but it's not like he could see much anyway and he was here for more important reasons.

The dorm room had been rearranged. Kurt knew it must be Trent's based on the posters on the wall and the overall cleanliness. The sofa had been shoved up against one wall, now occupied by David and Nick. Thad and Josh sat on the floor with their backs up against the bed, where Blaine and Trent sat cross-legged, the latter occasionally 'accidentally' kicking Josh's shoulder with his foot. Every boy held a video game controller except for Nick, who had a huge bowl of popcorn in his lap and would amuse himself by tossing pieces at unsuspecting dorm mates.

Kurt was right behind Blaine. He felt like he might be able to feel the cotton sheets as if he were sitting there too. But Kurt was too worried to enjoy this.

"Blaine!" he hissed in his ear, knowing it would do no good. "Blaine, you're so happy right now and I hate to do this, but Finn is coming and he's pissed and I really wish I could warn you right now," Kurt ended in a low moan, wanting to just wrap his arms around Blaine and hold him.

Kurt could only hope that Wes would be able to hold Finn off, calm him down, make him go back home. It was a feeble hope, but it was all he had.

Jeff hopped down the hallway and leaned in the doorway. Nick turned his head, everyone else too engrossed in the game to notice the newcomer, and smiled at his friend, chucking a handful of popcorn at his face. Jeff grinned and hung more in the doorway, stretching out his neck to snag popcorn pieces from the air in his mouth. Then he stopped. He froze mid-chew, a puzzled look on his face.

"What's up?" Nick asked, glancing down at the half-empty bowl. "Too much butter?"

Jeff pulled himself back from the room and leaned out into the hallway instead. Ears pricked in a trained way, he tilted his head and stared down the hall.

Nick stood, setting aside his popcorn, and stepped up to the door.

"What is it?"

Jeff turned his head back towards his friend, but his ears were still poised to listen as far as he could. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Nick leaned out of the door and assumed the same position that Jeff had, complete with the puzzled look.

Voices. Getting louder. Downstairs? A voice they knew. And one they didn't.

As the boys strained to hear, suddenly, they didn't need to anymore.

"It doesn't matter how I know him!"

They looked at each other. They couldn't place the voice; it definitely wasn't a Warbler, but by the way he was yelling, the kid had a set of lungs on him. And he was clearly pissed.

It was impossible for everyone not to hear the shouts coming from downstairs. Trent cursed as he realized that looking up had made him drive his car off of the road and he had lost. But no one else even noticed. They all looked at each other and then they glanced towards the door.

All curious, they didn't see Blaine's hands tense on the controller or they way his eyes widened.

"Who is that?" Josh asked as he stood, dropping the controller to the floor.

"No clue, man. But he sounds pissed."

Everyone started gravitating towards the door. Everyone except Blaine.

"What matters is that Blaine screwed everything up and he never even cared!"

Every eye in the room suddenly flashed to Blaine, who had not moved. The only thing that changed was that he was now considerably paler than usual and he looked a bit sick.

As if some 'inner Warbler sense' had snapped them all to action, the boys all darted at the same time, heading down the hall. Blaine jumped up and ran as fast as he could. He made it to the middle of the pack when they all stopped and stared down at the source of the racket, yelling things at the unknown person.

Blaine was silent, his hands gripping the railing, eyes locked at the figure who suddenly noticed all the people who lined the upper level.

Finn turned his gaze, so full of hatred and anger, up and immediately locked onto Blaine.

"Blaine!" he cried. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

_Finn! Stop it! Stop, please!_

"Knock it off! Who the hell are you anyway? You can't just come in here and start yelling at people-"

Caleb had spoken and Kurt silently thanked him for defending Blaine, but it was short-lived.

"I'm Kurt's brother," Finn snarled.

"I'm sorry about Kurt. I really am. But you can't just come in here and wake up the entire dorm!"

It was hard to pull his gaze away from this scene, but Kurt's eyes traveled up the stairs and to the railing, where Blaine was still griping the polished wood so tightly in his hands, the look on his face so hurt, that Kurt now found it difficult to look at either scene.

"I did care Finn. I do care. I care about him more than anyone. Why are you saying I don't?"

The pain in Blaine's voice made Kurt's heart stutter. Dark, curly hair spilled over Blaine's pale forehead, making his eyes look wider and more scared.

"It hasn't been two months since his funeral. And you're over here getting with another guy? How the fuck could you be so heartless-"

Kurt understood where Finn was coming from. But he had forgiven Blaine. He needed him to move on. And there was no way for Kurt to make Finn understand right now.

"Hey!"

Kurt's heart soared at the sound.

Caleb was drawing himself up taller, yelling as loud as he could, "You don't even know-"

"Who the fuck are _you_?"

Caleb's voice was stronger as he said his name loud and clear. Kurt could see the wheels turning in Finn's brain, knowing he'd heard that name before. And then it clicked.

Finn was dangerous. He looked so menacing and so full of rage, something Kurt had never seen before. He knew that Finn was only doing this because he loved him, but he just wanted him to stop.

Finn's voice lowered to a harsh whisper, one that was almost more terrifying than the yelling had been. "Do you know who you're dealing with?"

Caleb took a step back, his words coming out in a rush. "I didn't mean for it to happen, honestly. It was one kiss-"

Finn froze. His face fell. It was heartbreaking.

"You kissed him?" And the pain in his words made Kurt utter a soft sigh.

_Finn, it's okay. I know Blaine loves me and I know how hard this is, but you need to understand. Please._

Kurt was staring at the scene, trying to take in everything at once. And then, he was snapped out of his thought as Finn shoved Caleb to the ground and towered over him, screaming.

"Who the hell do you think you are to kiss someone whose boyfriend hasn't been dead two months?"

Blaine had been holding onto the railing as if his life depended on it, tears streaking down his face. But now, he tore down the stairs and fell to his knees beside Caleb with blubbering murmurs of 'are you okay?' and 'I'm sorry.'

"Blaine, you told me you loved him! It was all a lie! You never cared about Kurt!"

That statement killed Kurt. It hurt so much that Finn didn't understand. He didn't know how much Blaine loved Kurt and he didn't know that Kurt knew it too. He didn't know that he was making this worse. And his words hurt Blaine too, because he slowly stood, a look of agony in his eyes.

"I loved Kurt more than I loved anything in this whole world. Finn, you know that! How can you say I didn't care about him? His death-" and Kurt could see a flash of the pain that had taken over Blaine's life those weeks that followed his funeral, "-almost destroyed me. And you didn't see the worst of it." His voice was soft, not wanting to remember that pain. "A week, I was here, hardly eating, not sleeping, snapping out at everyone and getting lost in my own anger and hurt. It still hurts Finn! It's always going to hurt."

Blaine was begging Finn to understand and Kurt was silently there with him.

_Please, Finn. Please._

Finn paused for barely a second and then his jaw tightened and his eyes hardened. "Seems like you got over it real quick."

Kurt groaned. _Finn. Stop it right now._

Blaine's mouth opened and he looked like he just got punched in the stomach. It was eerily silent in the room. Blaine seemed to shrink back a bit and looked away from Finn. It was then that he seemed to notice all of the people who crowded around the second story, looking down on the scene.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Blaine said, his voice a whisper, trying to look anywhere but the wide eyes of the students lining the balcony.

Finn's eyes narrowed and then he looked around. "Yeah, I guess," he grumbled.

"Everyone back to bed! And if I catch anyone out of the dorms, I'll send you straight to the dean. Got it?"

Kurt had to smile at David's declaration. David was generally kind of quiet and the person who was everyone's friend, but he could be mean when he had to and he'd gotten the message across because every student was now trooping regretfully back to their dorms.

With everyone gone, this left Finn, Blaine, Wes, and Caleb. Silence echoed in the hall. Kurt was right beside Blaine. He had to stop himself from reaching out and wrapping his arms around the boy, he was so close. Blaine suddenly looked very tired, and so achingly sad that Kurt automatically hummed softly in his ear in the comforting way he used to.

"Finn, what are you even doing here?" Blaine's voice was so soft. He was done fighting and Kurt didn't blame him in the slightest.

"This one told me you were with another guy." Finn pointed his finger accusingly at Wes, who tried to defend himself and then Finn interrupted and rounded on Caleb.

"What are you even doing with him?" He glared at the green-eyed boy as he posed the harsh question to Blaine, who was silent. Kurt could see the indecision in his eyes. He had no idea what to say to Finn and Kurt knew that this was hurting him more.

"Back off!" Kurt heard Caleb growl and when he took a step forward to put himself slightly in front of Blaine, Kurt smiled so softly. Caleb was protecting Blaine without even thinking about it. "You don't know anything about me so don't go making assumptions you can't prove."

"You kissed him. You knew who he lost and you did it anyway!"

Caleb was at a loss for words, wanting to make Finn understand just as much as Blaine and Kurt did, but not knowing how to get him to stop being accusatory.

"Finn! Stop it!"

Blaine's voice was louder than it had been since the group had been left alone in the room. He turned his gaze on Finn, desperation flashing in his eyes.

"It's true. Caleb's not lying."

Kurt saw Finn's face change, maybe finally taking in Blaine's tone, and the hardness in his eyes began to disappear. Blaine asked Wes and then Caleb to leave, the latter of which was very reluctant to do so.

"Caleb, please," Blaine whispered, and that alone was enough to make Caleb give up and head back to the room, but not before throwing an icy stare towards Finn.

Kurt watched as Blaine walked over to the couch, with Finn following slowly. Finn seemed to curl in on himself, the battle lost. Or maybe he'd screamed out all of his anger. Either way, Kurt's brother's features had softened and he no longer looked like he wanted to punch something, or someone for that matter.

"Finn, I'll never, ever, stop loving Kurt. I'll always love him. Please, you know that. You _have _to know that." The desperate tone had seeped into Blaine's words again and Kurt involuntarily felt his heart soar at hearing those words on Blaine's lips, no matter how he said them. Blaine loved Kurt. Always.

_I love you too._

Blaine kept his gaze on Finn's, practically sending laser beams out his eyes, he was staring so intently at him. He was begging him to understand.

"I know you do Blaine. I know. I know you loved him more than anything."

And Kurt knew that Finn was going to start listening. He knew that he could begin to accept this. Blaine sighed deeply, as if clearing every painful thought from his body.

"You have to understand that Caleb didn't do anything wrong. He's trying to help me. He really is and…" Blaine licked his lips, fumbling for the right words, "I like his company and the way I feel when I'm with him."

Finn was silent for a moment and then he asked, "Do you like him more than Kurt?"

And Kurt swore that if he could die again, he might just do that. His heart was no longer beating in this perfect body, but right then and there, he felt that his heart would have stopped at the expression on Blaine's face.

Blaine immediately paled, stared at Finn with wide, glossy eyes. He let out a painful breath through his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. Kurt could almost feel his chest constricting and his throat closing up. "Don't. Don't even… Finn, please," he whispered, unable to get the words out.

"I just need to know." Finn's voice was stronger, demanding an answer in the least-demanding way possible, looking up at Blaine and waiting.

He was silent for a long time, then Blaine met Finn's gaze and swallowed hard. "I could never love anyone more than I loved Kurt. I saw him the first day he snuck into Dalton, standing on those stairs and I just knew that we were supposed to be together."

Kurt smiled at that. He knew it too.

"And after we were together, I never thought anything would drive us apart. But it did."

Kurt frowned as Blaine's breathing hitched and he noticed soft tears on his cheeks.

"I don't even know if what I feel for Caleb is real. But he's making me happier than I've felt in…. in so long… and he's making the hole in my chest throb less. And I think I really do like him. I don't know what I'm going to do now. But he will _never _take Kurt's place. I'll always love him. Always."

_Always._

Kurt smiled again, softly, and tore his gaze away from Blaine to look at Finn, who sighed and was quiet for a while.

"Finn?" Blaine asked hesitantly.

The gangly teen looked up and Blaine explained that he wished he could have told Finn about Caleb himself and that he thought he knew why he was having a hard time dealing with this.

His answer surprised both boys.

"You think I came here because I want to protect Kurt by not letting you be with anyone else?"

Blaine answered this with his own softly spoken question, the confusion evident, "Didn't you?"

"I just wanted him gone. Caleb. I don't know why, but I thought that if he left, everything would go back to how it was supposed to be."

Kurt listened eagerly to their conversation, wanting to hug both of them so tightly that the air was squeezed out of their lungs.

Finn was telling Blaine that it was okay to give Caleb a chance, but Blaine seemed reluctant. Kurt knew it was because he still felt guilty and he had all of that guilt brought to the surface once more with everything that Finn had yelled earlier. He thanked him though, and offered to have Finn stay the night because it was now pouring rain.

Kurt missed the rain. This place was beautiful, he gave it that, but being beautiful had its drawbacks. It never rained. Or snowed. Or hailed. Or gusted wind, or sweltered heat, or anything other than pleasant and calm. Kurt wished it would rain. He strained his ears, listening for the sound of the water drops splashing against the pavement behind the grand windows at Dalton, swearing he could hear a crack of thunder.

Kurt closed his eyes. He was tired. He had no idea how long he'd been out here, but it was dark now. The stars were out, twinkling and shining down upon him. Not a single rain cloud in sight.

He glanced back down at the scene before him. All three boys were curled up in their beds, or in Finn's case, the pull-out couch, and a satisfying calm had drifted over them. Kurt smiled and let his hands drop from the side of the basin. The Finn fiasco had ended. He let out a breath of relief and contented himself with watching Blaine sleep for a while, then he finally let himself clear the water and head back home.


	5. Part 5

"Kurt?"

The boy shifted in his sleep, rolled over and pulled the covers up tighter around him.

"Kurt. Baby, you need to wake up."

"Mmmfph." Kurt grumbled, squeezing his eyes tighter. He was having such a good dream.

A hand on his shoulder. Shaking him.

"Baby, wake up. You need to wake up." The voice was louder, more insistent.

He groaned and opened his eyes, blinking in the soft light. His mom was staring down at him with an expression on her face that he couldn't quite place at the moment.

"What's going on?" he croaked out groggily, licking his dry lips and running his hands through his hair.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, indecision etched on her features. Then her gaze turned sympathetic.

She sat down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Honey, I know that I told you that the Looking Glass was hurting you and that you shouldn't go there anymore and I know that you have been going anyway-" she paused for the briefest moments here and raised her eyebrows slightly, "-and I've accepted that. I haven't tried to stop you, even though I know I should. And I didn't think I'd be saying this, but I was there this morning and I don't know why I did it, but I went to go check on Blaine and-"

Kurt sat totally upright in bed, face pale. "What? What happened?"

She stood and said, "You need to go to the Looking Glass."

Kurt's stomach dropped. He hadn't been able to go to the temple yesterday. What had happened to Blaine? He was up and running before he could even think.

His bare feet pounded on the flawless stone of the floor as he ran. He felt his mother somewhere near him, but he couldn't look anywhere but forward, towards the temple. Towards the basin. Towards Blaine.

This short journey took much too long in Kurt's opinion and when he finally skidded to a stop, all he had to do was barely touch the water. Every thought coursing through his brain was Blaine.

And he saw him.

It was raining gently, the clouds darkening the scene, but Kurt could clearly see Blaine kneeling in what was quickly becoming mud. He was shaking, the hood of his jacket pulled up around his face, hiding himself from the world inside this little cocoon.

Kurt did not need to be told he was crying. He couldn't see what Blaine was kneeling in front of, but his heart ached.

Blaine was whispering, so quiet it was hard to hear over the steady fall of the rain and the random rumbles of thunder.

"I'm sorry honey. I just thought you should know. I saw another boy with him earlier telling him that he should-"

Kurt barely even heard what his mom was saying. It was white noise in the background. He leaned in, so close, to the water and strained to hear against the roaring wind.

"I love you Kurt," Blaine's whisper trembled. "I miss you so much it hurts."

Kurt let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them, he realized Blaine had shifted a bit, and he could now see what had Blaine so upset. It was Kurt's gravestone. His own gravestone.

The moan that fell from Kurt's lips was almost inaudible. The tears filled his eyes immediately. His mother's warm hand was on his back, but he made no move to show that he even felt it.

He kept his eyes glued on Blaine as he struggled to make out what he was saying.

"I met someone Kurt. Caleb. He's been helping me a lot. I don't know what to do." Blaine's words were coming faster now and Kurt's nose was centimeters away from the water. "I could never love anyone more than I loved you. But I know that I like him. I can feel it and it scares me. Finn… he said all of the things that I was thinking but was too scared to let myself handle. It's only been two months and I don't even know how I can be feeling what I feel. Caleb is a good friend, and he cares about me. And he understands. He knows most of what I'm feeling and it's… I don't know… nice to have someone who I can talk to. I know that there's something there though. I know we would be good for each other. And I know he wants more than friendship, even though he says he just wants to help… I don't want to be alone." The last words were so quiet, Kurt wasn't sure he'd heard right. The tears were streaming down Blaine's cheeks and the wind had blown his hood off his head, exposing the unruly curly hair as the rain steadily stuck his hair to his forehead and neck. Kurt had his hands pressed against his cheeks, trying desperately to catch his tears before they fell in the water and distorted the scene.

"But I don't know if I can do this." Blaine lifted his head and then his voice was louder and Kurt jumped at the sudden sound. "I need you Kurt. Tell me what to do. Please! I need you." His voice was desperate and Kurt sobbed.

_I can't. I can't Blaine. I'm so sorry. I can't._

Blaine let his hand fall from the cool marble of the headstone and wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth as his head hung forward and he sobbed.

And suddenly, the scene went blank.

Kurt shot up, red-ringed eyes locking on his mother, who was withdrawing her hand from the basin.

"What are you doing?" he cried and thrust his hand forward towards the water, hit with a desperation he hadn't felt before.

"You don't need to see this Kurt." Her arms wrapped around him so he couldn't reach the basin.

"No!" he untangled himself from her grasp and stumbled back a few steps, chest heaving with sudden emotion.

Elizabeth froze, letting her hands fall slowly to her sides. She took a step forward.

"I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry-"

"You think by not seeing it you could somehow 'protect me'?" Kurt's voice rose. "I love him mom! I know he's hurting and I need to make sure he's okay!"

"Kurt, this is poison! It's like a drug to you! I see what it's doing to you and I never should have showed you. And bringing it up now just made it worse. I should have stopped you when I knew that you were sneaking out at night." Her words matched her son's in volume. She moved forward, holding out her hands.

Kurt stared straight into her eyes. "Go."

Elizabeth recoiled slightly at the harshness in her son's tone.

"Kurt, I just-"

"Just go. Please." Kurt turned his head, wrapped his arms around himself.

Kurt barely felt his mother brush his shoulder as she went past him. When he was sure she was gone, he let out a sob and rushed to the basin, practically slapping the water in his haste to see Blaine.

And a soft melody filled his ears even before the scene finished rippling into place.

_When you wish upon a star_

_Makes no difference who you are_

_Anything your heart desires _

_ Will come to you_

Kurt was utterly silent as he listened, watching Blaine when he could. He was sitting up straighter in the mud, hands clasped gently in his lap as the raindrops fell on his skin. He was still shivering with cold and all Kurt wanted was to wrap him in the world's biggest hug.

When he finished the song, he stayed there for a while, just looking at the letters etched in the smooth marble.

Finally whispering, "I love you Kurt," he got up and slowly turned.

Kurt followed him as he walked back down the path, every sound now muffled by the rain. He pulled up his hood as he approached Caleb, who had gotten out of the car the moment he saw Blaine. Caleb took one look at him and ran forward, immediately gripping the boy in a tight hug. Blaine looked like he might fall to his knees at any moment.

He watched Caleb lead Blaine back to the car and then they drove away.

Kurt stayed there for another three hours, drinking in every scene. He frowned when Blaine tried to press that Caleb was stronger than himself and he smiled when Blaine confided in Caleb that he saw Kurt on a stage and singing for everyone. His heart ached some when Caleb mentioned Dylan.

Silence fell over the room quickly and each boy went to the comfort of their own beds. Kurt's eyes strayed on Blaine and he was intrigued when he saw his eyes locked on something. He followed his gaze and Kurt could see a single star shining in the dark night sky.

A soft smile broke out over Blaine's face and Kurt smiled too.

He knew his mom was going to be mad at him, but he didn't care. He would do anything to see Blaine again.

Blaine was sleeping. He looked so peaceful when he slept, like all of the worry and stress was drained out of him.

Kurt just stared at the beautiful boy, unable to take his eyes off of him for even a moment. For a while, he was still, his breathing even and relaxed. Then he began to move around, rolling over and tangling his legs in the covers. Kurt passed it off as him getting in a more comfortable spot, not giving another thought. But when a small whimper sounded in the dark, Kurt had no doubt who it was from. He leaned down more, eyes grazing over the scene, heightened for any reason that Blaine would not be okay. He saw Blaine's hands tighten in the blanket, his face scrunching up in what had to be fear.

"Blaine?" Kurt couldn't stop himself from whispering the word.

The boy was turning over again, moaning lightly.

Oh no. Another nightmare. Kurt's eyes immediately flashed to Caleb. Caleb would help him. He did it before.

But Caleb wasn't moving. He was curled up on his own bed, the blankets pulled tightly around him and he was snoring gently.

_Wake up! Wake up!_

He did not stir, made no indication that he even heard the growing groans from the boy near him.

Blaine's eyes squeezed shut and he whimpered loudly, eyes moving in constant terror. Caleb wasn't moving.

Kurt made a split second decision then and he was running without even bothering to clear the water.

He ran so hard, his lungs burned and his eyes watered, but he did not slow down until he reached the rolling green pasture, the grass slightly misty with dew. He put his finger to his lips and whistled, trying to remember how his mom did it, and hoping beyond hope that it worked.

And suddenly, Aphrodite was there. The shining beige coat of the mare seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. He wasted no time and jumped up as quickly as he could, grabbing onto the mane.

"Go, please." He whispered and the horse whinnied lightly before taking off.

It was an odd sensation. He told himself to expect it, but it was still weird, seeing the world around you whizz by in a blur of color when it felt as if you were going no faster than an afternoon stroll. He trusted Aphrodite and she knew where to go. His surroundings came into focus sharply and the moment she was still, Kurt slid off the horse's back and ran straight to the larger-than-life tree, almost smacking into it. His fingers moved up and down the trunk desperately, not really knowing what he was looking for. Then he felt a slight indent. His fingers froze. He brought his face close to the scratchy wood of the bark, searching. And then he saw a slightly indented knot in the trunk and pressed down on it. The wood began to splinter immediately and a door appeared. He rushed through the moment the door was open.

Kurt threw himself down on the seat in the middle of the room and almost the moment his butt touched the chair, twisting branches were making their way towards him. He waited until his limbs were secured down and he felt the warm, sticky sap on his temples as the last branches attached themselves. Then he thought of Blaine, as clear and sharp an image as he could.

A quick flash of white light, a sharp tugging sensation, and Kurt was _there._

Blaine was on the ground, on his hands and knees, breathing hard. Kurt looked down at him, his heart clenching.

He knew what he had to do. He didn't want to, but it had to be done and he knew that if he didn't, it would be because of his own selfish reasons.

Blaine looked up, the fear in his hazel eyes receding the moment he saw the bright blue eyes looking back at him.

"Kurt?" he whispered.

And Kurt felt himself smiling, despite what he was about to do. He reached out his hands to rest lightly on Blaine's shoulders as he kneeled beside him.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed, an involuntary reaction. He could feel Blaine's warm flesh under his hands and he'd missed it so much, the feel of Blaine.

He stood, pulling Kurt up with him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Kurt returned the hug a little too tightly, holding him as if he would never get the chance to again, and Blaine noticed immediately.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" his beautiful voice was in Kurt's ear.

The taller boy pulled away, capturing Blaine's gaze in his own. He took a deep breath. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

And Kurt felt his eyes fill with tears, tried to control his shallow breaths. He felt Blaine's grip on him tighten, eyes searching his worriedly.

"Blaine. Blaine, I love you. You know I love you." He was trying so hard not to break down.

"I love you more than anything." Blaine said, voice strong.

Kurt heard the soft gasp come from his lips. "I know. I know you do." No going back now. He had to do this. For Blaine's sake. "And I know this may be hard to hear, but I want you to listen, okay?"

"What? What is it?" Blaine's words were filled with worry. He had no idea what Kurt was about to do.

And Kurt hated himself for doing this, but he had to. Or Blaine would keep hurting.

"Blaine, baby, you need to know that it's okay for you to move on." He kept his gaze locked on the hazel eyes, needing him to know how serious this was. "It's okay for you to be with someone else. I love you Blaine. I love you so much and you need to hear that I won't let you do this to yourself anymore. I want you to be happy, Blaine, more than anything else in this world."

Kurt stiffened as he felt Blaine's hands fall away and he backed up.

"Is this about Caleb?" He lashed out, irises sparkling with confusion and hurt.

Kurt felt himself nodding. "He cares about you."

"So do you!" Blaine yelled.

Kurt's heart pounded hard against his ribs in response.

"I can't make you happy Blaine. I don't belong here," he said.

Blaine's words were whispered and he hung his head. "You belong with me."

Kurt rushed up then, palm cupping Blaine's cheek, making him look up at him. "We both know I can't. You deserve everything in the world. Don't close yourself out to love, Blaine. You don't deserve a life without love."

"I love you." Blaine said, fierce and unyielding.

Kurt smiled lightly, leaning down to press his forehead to Blaine's. "I know, and that's why I'm asking you to give him a chance."

Blaine's eyes snapped open at the same time everything went black.

Kurt screamed, feeling his entire body pulse with immediate pain, like thousands of red-hot needles pricking his skin. He was engulfed in darkness, even when his eyes snapped open, he couldn't see anything. He couldn't sense the world around him, he had no idea where he was. He couldn't feel his own body. His scream echoed, the only thing he could hear and the only thing he couldn't stop doing.

And then he was in the chair, the lightless room dull and fading in and out of his vision. He felt the branches slithering away from his body, the thick branch around his waist the only one left. It tightened around him and lifted him up, practically dragging him towards the door that had popped open again. He felt an immediate rush of nausea at being pulled through the air and things kept sliding in and out of focus. The branch deposited him right outside of the tree and a burning white light flashed across his mind. He groaned and fell to the ground, too weak to even try to catch himself on the way down. He hit with a soft thump and sucked in a shuttering breath, cheek pressing into the cool grass, feeling his arms and legs tingle.

And then his world faded away.


	6. Part 6

**I think something's not working with ff currently. It didn't send out the notification for the last chapter and lately it's been sending out 2 notices. Weird. I hope the notification goes out for this one. **

**Make sure you've read the previous chapter before starting this one, if you only got the notification for this chapter. **

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><p>When Kurt awoke, he was still on the forest floor, something warm and wet pushing against his cheek. He moaned and opened his eyes, making him nauseated and closed them, but not before he saw a large beige <em>something <em>way too close to his face.

He took shallow breaths and slowly moved around. Okay, he could move his toes. And his fingers. Wiggle his arms and legs. And his face was not covered in blood as he initially feared, but rather, wet with dew. And drool, he realized as he opened his eyes again and saw that Aphrodite was poking his cheek with her nose.

Rolling over onto his back, he groaned again and was glad for the cover from the sun that the large tree provided. It was cool and the air was slightly misty in the shade. His arms and legs tingled slightly as he carefully picked himself up.

He had a pounding headache and wondered if his perfect body would be covered in bruises and what the hell had happened?

He had been in Blaine's dream one moment and the next, _bam. _It was like their connection had been severed, snatched away in a moment. He was staring into Blaine's eyes and then there was nothing. Pain. It had hurt.

Then it hit him.

Blaine must have woken up. A million thoughts poured into Kurt's brain at that moment, but the one that stood out the most was: _did I hurt him?_

His mom had said that if the person whose dream you were in woke up…. Well, he couldn't remember right now exactly what she said, but it was bad wasn't it?

Oh god. What if he hurt Blaine?

The thought pounded in his head, in his chest, in his very blood.

Ignoring the dizzying sensation this caused, Kurt scrambled up and clamored onto Aphrodite's back, knowing that she would take him where he wanted to go without saying anything. He had to close his eyes to the world around him that was swirling by as the horse picked up speed unknown to any breed on earth.

He did have to open his eyes momentarily so he could guess where they were and to his relief, the third time he did this, he realized that they had stopped. Kurt slid off her back and patted her on the neck once as a thank-you before he began to run towards his house. He hoped his mother would be there.

And she was. He pushed open the front door and saw his mother sitting at the table, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands.

"Kurt, where have you been?" she stood and the question was asked automatically before she actually _saw _him. The moment her eyes moved up and down him, her expression changed.

"Oh, honey, what happened?"

Kurt took another step and immediately felt the tears well up in his eyes and he knew he wasn't going to be able to stop them. His legs felt rubbery and weak and that one step caused him to sink to the ground on his knees. His mother dropped down immediately beside him and she wrapped him in her arms as he began to cry.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry." Kurt mumbled through his tears, almost incoherent. "It's all my fault. I didn't listen and it's my fault."

Elizabeth held him gently, rocking him back and forth like he had wished for so many times when he was younger. "Shh…. Honey, it's okay," she shushed him, running a hand through his hair. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

Kurt was still shaking and sobbing and after it was clear that her son was not in any immediate danger, she let him cry it out and comforted him before asking again what was wrong.

When his cries were reduced to soft hiccups, she pulled away from her tight embrace and stared into Kurt's eyes. A hand went to his cheek and brushed away the tears that streaked his pale skin.

"Kurt? Honey?"

He met her eyes and bit his lip, still shaking slightly. "I messed up mom," he whispered.

"How so?"

"I think I really hurt Blaine." His voice broke on the last word and his tears threatened to spill over again but he somehow managed to hold them back.

Her gaze turned questioning and she pulled back a bit, hands on his shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"I went to the tree. The one that lets you go into people's dreams."

At his mother's shocked expression, Kurt blurted, "I needed to mom! He was hurting so badly and I had to do something! I couldn't just leave him like that! He needed to know that I'm okay and that it's okay to move on. I know Caleb can help him but he can't see it because he's so confused right now."

She didn't say anything at his reasoning and instead asked, "What happened?"

"It happened just like it did before and I saw him and held him and it was going fine and then… I was looking at him and then it all turned black. Blacker than black. I couldn't feel my own body, but everything hurt like needles on my skin. And I woke up back in the tree and it dumped me outside and I passed out."

Elizabeth did not say anything, just got up quickly and disappeared into her room, returning with a softly woven bag that looked like it could have been made from clouds. Kurt was still on the floor, the ache in his chest painful as he tried to regain his breath. He stared up at his mom through his tears, watching her sift through drawers and cupboards.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

She again ignored him, pulling out small vials of brightly colored liquid from random places around the house.

"Mom?" he asked again, louder this time and he heard the confusion and slight fear in his voice.

She turned, with a small bottle of something clear and shimmering clutched in her hand. "You can come with me if you want, but you need to promise to stay quiet."

She brushed past him, pausing by the door to look at him. "I'm going to see if the connection is broken."

Without waiting for an answer, she was gone. Kurt's mind was reeling. What was a connection? Why did she need those bottles? What was in the bottles? Where was she going?

But it had to do with Blaine. Kurt knew that much, so he scrambled up and ran after her.

"Mom, what are you-" he panted slightly as he kept pace beside her.

"No questions honey. Later."

He bit his lip, holding back all of the words that wanted to burst free and demand that she tell him what was going on. Instead, he clenched his fists and kept his gaze forward, noticing familiar areas around him. He looked up and saw where they were headed and though his mind sent forth another frantic bought of questions through his brain, he kept his mouth shut.

They were going to the temple.

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><p>Kurt followed alongside his mother as the two of them entered the temple, which as always, was empty save for the basin that Kurt had become so attached to. It was almost sad if he stopped and thought about it, how much he cared for the basin itself, if only for what it was able to show him. He cared about Blaine more than he could even describe, but without the basin and its powers, he would have no other way to see him. There was the tree of course, but now, Kurt knew that he would be scared to even go near the thing again for fear of messing something else up. Kurt knew without a doubt that he would do anything to be able to see Blaine again. And if he'd accidently done something to mess this up, but not just this at being able to see him, but if he actually <em>hurt <em>Blaine, Kurt didn't know what he was going to do.

He kept his mouth shut at his mother's orders and bit down so hard on his lip to keep from badgering her with more questions, that he could taste the tangy copper of blood on his tongue. Instead, he forced himself to stay back a few feet, though involuntarily, he kept moving forward every few seconds to crane his neck to try and see what she was doing. He felt like a small puppy, being told not to come nearer and wanting with all of his might to do just that.

His mother had taken on a serious demeanor, eyes and hands moving only where they needed to go. She seemed to know what she was doing but Kurt was aching to know exactly _what _it wasshe was doing.

Her hands moved swiftly as she rooted through her bag and pulled out some of the vials, one filled with a bright green mixture, the other a deep turquoise, and one that was so clear Kurt would have thought it empty except he kept seeing tiny shimmers coming from the bottle, as if the liquid itself was lighting up from within.

Kurt found himself holding his breath as she pulled the stopper out of the turquoise bottle and gently poured a quarter of it into the water. He impossibly leaned forward even more and watched as the still water was permeated with blue, watched as it mixed in soft swirls. A green bottle was thrust into his line of vision.

"Open this for me."

Elizabeth's words were crisp. This was a command. He took the bottle from her and found that his hands were shaking. Focusing all his attention on the tiny cork, he gripped it with his thumb and pointer finger as his other hand wrapped around the bottle. He yanked and it came free with a sound like a sigh and the strong scent of sandalwood and shaving cream and something else…. The sticky, slightly sweet scent of hair gel tingled in his nostrils. And he found himself suddenly wanting to breathe nothing but that scent for the rest of his life. His eyelids fluttered and he inhaled deeply.

"Don't breathe that in, honey."

And the bottle was gone from his grasp. His mother poured the liquid drop by drop in a large circle at the very edge of the water. Each drop landed with a hiss and sunk to the bottom as though weighted, each drop a perfect orb until it hit the stone bottom where it burst and frothed strangely purple. After the last drop was poured, the darkly colored water in the basin sat still. Kurt waited and nothing happened.

He knew what the smell in the bottle was. He could never forget that scent. It was _Blaine_. The scents smelled so strongly of Blaine, for a moment, he'd forgotten where he was and almost believed that Blaine was standing there beside him. His heart sunk as he was pulled back to reality, staring at this water that looked like it may have come from the Black Lagoon.

A soft whimper sounded in the back of his throat. Why wasn't anything happening?

He tore his gaze from the blank water and stared at his mother, not noticing until now that the clear bottled liquid was held in her delicate hand. His eyes locked on the bottle, drawing down as it was tilted closer and closer to the water. It fell in gentle waves from the thin, twisting neck of the glass bottle until it too was made to sink.

The water rippled quickly and he watched in awe as the water was changing, growing lighter and lighter with every second. Soon, the basin was filled with a soft purple, then lavender, then paler still, until it was returned to the original glassy color it had been a mere minute ago.

It rippled again in waves, but now it was made by no means of magic colored potion, but by his mother's hand. She lay her palm flat against the water, skin just barely resting on the surface, her eyes closed. She took a deep breath and Kurt fought the urge to touch her, to make her tell him what was going on.

But no, he'd promised to be quiet. He licked his lips, felt the chapped skin where it had bled. His heart was pounding so fast, he wondered if he might pass out.

And then a dull throbbing sound echoed from the heart of the basin itself and Kurt saw a soft shimmer of gold shine across the water's surface. His eyes immediately went to his mother and she was smiling. He assumed that this meant something good, but he could not get himself to smile. He needed to hear it from her.

Her hand receded and strangely, it was dry. Kurt's eyes felt like they were bugging out of his skull because he kept holding his breath in anticipation.

"Mom?" he whispered, unable to trust himself to raise his voice any higher.

She looked at him as he cowered like a scared animal and her arms wrapped around him. He was so tense in her grasp. She rubbed her hand soothingly across his back.

"He's okay, honey. He's fine."

And Kurt immediately relaxed and burst into tears.

"H-how do you know?" he asked when he had control over his words again.

"I can feel it. The connection between Blaine and Neera."

"Neera?" he repeated somewhat stupidly. "I don't understand."

"Neera is our 'path' so to speak, from this world to earth. We go there in our minds, leave our bodies behind, but our soul can appear to someone on earth for a little while. In dreams."

She looked at him, waiting for him to make the connection.

"The tree."

She smiled. "Yes."

"So… you _felt _the connection? What is a connection?"

"It's the reason you were able to go into Blaine's dream. It's hard to explain honey because I don't know much about it myself."

"What did you put in the water?"

She started to answer, but then, he cut her off. "No, never mind. I don't even care. Are you sure he's okay?"

Elizabeth nodded and Kurt pulled away from her to carefully touch the water once more. It swirled and rippled like always and when it was still, Kurt saw the scene as clear and beautiful as ever.

Blaine was sleeping, curled on his side with his features slack and calm in deep sleep. Kurt sighed with relief.

"Thank you mom. I don't know what you did, but thank you." Kurt whispered earnestly.

She pulled him into another tight hug. "I like him." She laughed lightly as she said it, the smile evident in her words.

Then her tone was serious. "But honey, please don't ever go to Neera again without me."

"I won't," he promised and he knew that that was one statement he was never going to go back on.


	7. Part 7

**This is the last part to this ending. May do an epilogue, but not sure yet. Enjoy! I'm really happy with how this turned out.**

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><p><em>Tap. Tap. Tap. <em>

_Shuffle. _

_Scrape. _

_Yawn. _

_Turn the page._

Kurt had been watching Blaine and Caleb study for what seemed like an eternity. Dalton finals were fast approaching and every student had turned into a focused zombie, with immeasurable cups of coffee being drained and refilled, books piled up higher than they could ever read, countless pencils being sharpened into nubs, and the time when the 'I'll promise I'll stop biting my nails' habits were broken and brought back out once more. Ah, yes. Finals. Kurt had only been through one set of notoriously difficult Dalton exams, but he'd had enough for a lifetime. For Blaine, this would be his fourth and last, set of finals.

Kurt had asked him once before how he did it, how he stayed so calm and collected and managed to get dressed in the morning, straight tie and all, in addition to leading the Warblers, and not have his brain fry from so much studying and still managed to be adorable. Okay, so he'd left out that last part, but still.

"Oh, didn't you know? It's the hair gel," he'd told him with a wink and a smile. "Magic powers."

Kurt remembered that he had groaned and had wanted to throw something at that perfect smile, but the only available thing was the book he had open on his lap and he didn't want to knock out one of those pretty little teeth. So, he'd chosen the next option, and the only thing he seemed capable of doing when rendered unable to breathe by the sheer closeness of Blaine. Astonishment.

"Why do you have to be so perfect?"

"Mmmm, is it because I'm with you and you make everything in my life more amazing and anything less than perfect would be unworthy of you?"

And he'd gotten up and kissed Blaine long and hard and he hoped that his lips weren't chapped but there really wasn't anything he could do about it now and all he could think about was Blaine's lips on his and Blaine's hand in his hair and Blaine's arm around his waist and _Blaine_.

"Again with the perfect." Kurt sighed and pulled back, had grinned slightly when Blaine's hand tightened around his arm so he couldn't leave. "You are so infuriatingly perfect and it sometimes amazes me why you're even with me."

Blaine had pushed himself up to capture Kurt's lips in a quick kiss. "Because I love you."

And that simple statement coming from his boyfriend's mouth, no matter how many times he'd heard it, would always make Kurt smile. "I love you too."

"And admit it, you love the hair. And the blazer."

Kurt remembered laughing. "So true."

"But without my hair and blazer, who would I be? I mean, I play guitar when everyone just wants to hang out and I make weird covers of Disney songs. Who does that?"

"Well, I think it's adorable. With or without your crazy hair."

Their next conversation had led into their future plans and what they were going to do after high school. And it hurt too much to think about.

Kurt pulled himself out of that memory and stared down once more at the beautiful boy before him.

Blaine and Caleb were sitting on a low brick wall surrounding a small tree, talking. Just talking. Kurt bit back a smile. Even under all of these pressures, Blaine still was not worried about finals. And apparently, he had convinced Caleb to do the same, for now. Blaine could be very convincing. Mainly because he pulled the sad eyes, pouty lip thing that seemed to make everyone who saw it reconsider because it was just so freaking _sad _to see that look on such a beautiful face. At least, that's why it always worked with Kurt. But he could see how Caleb would be swayed.

"My offer still stands you know," Kurt heard Caleb say so softly, as if worried what affect that statement would have on Blaine.

And all he said was, "I know."

Kurt could tell he wanted to say more. He knew that look on his face when he was organizing his thoughts.

Caleb's question was hesitant, nervous. "So?"

And Blaine answered in the way that Kurt expected him to. He didn't quite agree with it, but he wasn't shutting out all possibilities of moving on. And Kurt was happy with that much.

"I think that someday we could be together. I really do like you Caleb, I do, but I think I just need to take some time for me, you know?"

And Caleb didn't look hurt, and Kurt had learned to expect that too. Caleb was strong, but understanding in a way that made Kurt like him more. He knew that Caleb would always love and care for and take care of and be there for Blaine if the opportunity arose. Caleb would do and be everything for Blaine that Kurt couldn't.

"Then I'll wait. Until you're ready."

A very slight flash of pain shone in Blaine's eyes and Kurt could see that he was torn between wanting to accept Caleb's promise, and not wanting to make Caleb hurt by asking him to wait. "Caleb, I'm not asking you to do that for me," he said softly.

"I know. But I want to. I told you I'd be here for you Blaine. And I'm not going to just abandon you."

Kurt smiled. This was what Blaine needed, even if he didn't know it yet, or rather, hadn't let himself believe.

"Whatever you need, I can be there for you. However long it takes."

Caleb's hand had moved over Blaine's and he squeezed his fingers. "And this can be enough."

He held out an earbud to Blaine, releasing his hand. Blaine smiled and Kurt was so happy in this moment. He saw the way the breeze gently blew Blaine's curls around his forehead and the way the sun shone down on his face. Blaine got up and practically pulled Caleb along with him as he went and sat down in the grassy quad. Caleb laid beside him and they stared up at the clouds with a smile on their lips and all trace of sorrow or sadness or hurt was gone. It was sunny and bright and Kurt looked down at Blaine and knew that he would be okay.

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><p>Kurt bolted awake that night, yanking him out of his deep sleep. He blinked and his eyebrows knitted together. He'd never woken up in the middle of the night before. Not here anyway. There was nothing to awaken him; he never had nightmares or got too hot or cold.<p>

Was that… thunder?

Kurt sat fully upright, leaning slightly to the side as if that would help him hear better. Thunder?

It never rained here. Never.

He slid out of bed and for the first time, felt cold. A strong breeze was blowing through the open window, making the curtains flutter and blow neat piles of paper off his desk and around the room. He walked briskly out of his room, down the hall, and into his mother's room.

It was dark. He tiptoed inside. "Mom?" he called gently.

No answer.

He tried again, calling louder this time.

Still, nothing.

His hand ran along the wall, searching for a light switch. Light flooded the room. The covers on his mother's bed were rumpled, as if thrown off in a hurry. There was no sign of her or where she had gone.

Confused, he turned back and made a full search of the house, stopping in every room and calling her name. His heart was speeding up in anxiousness and he found himself jogging to each room. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No sign of her.

More than a little afraid, he opened the front door. The sky was a nasty shade of black, not quite black enough to call it pitch black, but definitely made black enough by the enormous clouds to block out the light of the moon. Here and there, streaks of royal purple made their appearance, zigzagging between the clouds. The wind was roaring, blowing his hair into his eyes and making his pajama pants feel like they were trying to tear themselves away from his body. He'd never seen this before. Not even on earth. This was ridiculous. Where was his mom? He just wanted his mom.

"Mom!" he yelled against the wind, looking left and right as if she would appear and everything would go back to normal.

Nothing.

He made a lap around the house as it started to rain. No, not rain. Pour. It didn't start out as a little drizzle and then get progressively worse, as he was used to. No, it was like someone had cut a seam into the clouds themselves and then stood back as all of the water sloshed out in big, fat drops.

"Mom!" he hollered again and again over the howl of the wind. He was shaking now, his pants completely soaked and sticking to his freezing skin, the wind like pricks of ice on his wet body, his hair plastered to his head and water running in his eyes.

That was when the first bolt of lightning struck.

It shocked, as a streak of the brightest white Kurt had ever seen, across the sky in a jagged line and was gone in a second. The thunder followed with a massive _crack _that made Kurt jump. No, this was definitely not normal. Not even for a place as magical as this.

Kurt began to run. He didn't really know where he was going, but the second it was even an idea in his head, he knew that he'd meant to go there all along. He had to run against the wind, every drop of rain stinging his skin. Another shock of lighting, this one cracking in a straight line, straight down. It made contact with the ground and the resulting noise was incredible. Kurt stopped running and put his hands over his ears to try and block out the earsplitting _boom _that seemed to echo in his skull even after it stopped. More lighting. Each bolt appearing mere seconds after the other. Some stayed in the sky, creating flashes of light that illuminated the world in front of Kurt for a moment before fading, only to be replaced by another just as quickly. But some released their attack on the ground, leaving smoking trails in their wake.

The wind was whipping, changing direction constantly so that Kurt never truly knew if he was going to be fighting the wind to move forward, or being pushed ahead by the powerful current. He wrapped his arms around his shirtless torso (why oh why had he not gotten a jacket before he left?) and carried on, having to squint to see past the rain that pelted his vision and dripped in his eyes. He'd just reached the front of the temple, saw the clear water running down the great marbled steps like a mini waterfall, when another flash lit up the sky followed quickly by an earsplitting boom.

The sound seemed to resonate in his very bones as he realized that lightning had struck the temple's roof. He winced, but knew that the marble would hold. And then he heard another sound. A higher pitched sound that was clearly human, calling his name. He turned.

"Mom?"

Her arms were around him before he could even move. She began to lead him away from the temple and he resisted, only to give up when she began to scream in his ear, the only way he could hear her over the roaring of the winds.

"What are you doing here? We need to get inside!"

He clung to her and they ran against the wind, being pelted from every direction with huge drops of water. He stumbled once or twice, but Elizabeth held onto her son and together, they soon came to their house, which seemed a dreary place in the foggy darkness. Elizabeth pushed the door open and shoved Kurt inside, where he collapsed on the ground, shaking and breathing hard. She yanked the door shut and locked it before dropping down next to him, breathing just as ragged.

"Kurt, baby," she panted as she ran her hand over his sopping hair and cupped his cheek, "what were you doing out there?"

"I couldn't find you," he whispered, feeling pathetic and dropped his gaze to the floor.

She sighed, a sound mixed with relief and exhaustion, and wrapped her son in a hug. "I'm sorry honey. I was in a meeting with the council."

Kurt pulled his face away from her shoulder and looked up at her, all the fear he'd felt melting out of his veins like snow. "Council?"

A shadow of doubt crossed her face, like she didn't want to tell him.

"Mom?"

She licked her lips and then sighed again. "You're not going to like hearing this, and I'm sorry, but I think it's best for everyone-" A flash lit up the sky then, pulsing through the windows with the loudest crack of thunder yet, making them both jump. Kurt looked to his mom worriedly as a sickening sound filled the air. A drawn-out hiss, almost like a wail, and moments later, there were many crashes echoing through the silent air within the house. The only thing Kurt could compare it to was an avalanche.

"What's going on mom?" he whispered, face pale.

A thickly knitted blanket was wrapped around his trembling shoulders and he clutched it close, his eyes never leaving his mom's face as she sat next to him, tying a soft robe around her waist.

"It's the council."

"What?"

"Because The Looking Glass is so powerful, this is the only way the council can destroy the temple." His mother's voice was very small, almost as if she were the child admitting a mistake.

"What!" Kurt yelled and stood, letting the blanket slide to the floor.

Elizabeth was on her feet in a second and held out her hands in a consolatory gesture. "It's what's best for everyone. You don't see how-"

Kurt was feeling so many emotions pulse through his veins, he had trouble sorting them all out. Anger, confusion, hurt, betrayal, fear, sadness. "No, you don't see! It's the only way I can see him mom! Tell them to stop! They can't do this! It's the only way I can see him!" he screamed, his voice overpowering the pounding rain outside and the continuous cracks of thunder. "You can't take him away from me! Not again!"

And he threw open the door, running on desperation, as his feet slipped and slid over the paths that had turned into ankle-deep mud. Every time he lifted his foot, it came free with a squealching sound, and when he planted his foot in front of him, it sunk deeper. It was getting harder and harder to keep going with the rain mixing with his tears on his cheeks, and the wind ripping at his body as it tried to shove him back.

"No!" he screamed as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his torso. He tried to break free and lost his balance, falling to his knees, the arms still clenched tightly around him. His whole body felt numb. He couldn't control his limbs enough to peel away the hands locked together in front of his chest. It was all he could do to keep running, but now, he couldn't do even that. "Mom, make them stop!" he cried, eyes locked on the magnificent temple in the distance that was crumbling as he watched.

The arms around him tightened more, pulling him into her, turning his face away. "I can't baby. I can't make them stop. It's better this way, you'll see. I know you'll see." She whispered furiously, trying to hold her son together, the guilt and ache in her bones pounding. But this was better. It was better this way. It's for him. For Kurt.

He sobbed against her, too tired to fight her, knowing he couldn't do anything. He vaguely felt her pull him up and lead him back to the house, but he did not try and get away. She set him down on the couch and wrapped the blanket around him. There was a vacant look in those piercingly blue eyes that were swollen and ringed with red, as he laid down and pulled the blanket tightly around himself.

She knelt down in front of him. He looked anywhere but her face. Her hand rested gently on his shoulder, but he pulled away. "Honey, I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes searching his face, silently begging him to look at her. "I know you hate me right now, but you have to understand that I know the pain that The Looking Glass can cause. I see it in you. And that hurts the most. I couldn't let you do that to yourself and I knew you wouldn't listen to me. Baby, the council has been talking for a long time about destroying it. And it took my accounts of what you're going through to finally make them see the damage it can cause. This is a good thing honey. I know you don't see it now, but it is. You don't need to see Blaine to know that he's there. To know that he's okay. He loves you and he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and was gone.

The rain was still furiously assaulting the world around him and in the distance, Kurt could hear the tell-tale hiss and crack and crumble as the lightning found its mark. The temple. It would be completely destroyed in a matter of minutes. And there was nothing he could do.

Blaine. Kurt just kept picturing him. He could never see him again. He closed his eyes. The last picture he had of Blaine, he was laying on the grass, warm with a soft breeze blowing his curls out of his eyes, and Caleb was next to him, smiling gently, as they watched the clouds float by. Blaine was happy. Blaine was okay. The words his mother said kept running through his mind.

_You don't need to see him to know that he's there. To know that he's okay. He loves you and wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. _

And what hurt, was that he knew that she was right.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and turned away from the world, pulled the blanket up over his head and let himself fall asleep, the images of Blaine smiling and laughing rolling by like an old movie projector in his mind.

* * *

><p>When Kurt awoke, it was silent.<p>

That was the first thing he noticed. The silence.

No rain, no thunder, no nothing.

He dragged the blanket off his body and got up, feeling the dried mud on his feet and caking his pants, which were still soaked. He groaned disgustedly, but otherwise put that thought out of his mind.

Immediately, Kurt went to his front door and opened it, to find the world outside unchanged. No sign of the mud, the river created by the rain, nothing. Everything was back to normal. Except when he looked in the distance. The gleaming shine of the marble roof that greeted him so many mornings was gone. Kurt took off in a run and felt his heart speed up in response. As if his heart was thudding the words _please no, please no, please no _with every step.

He felt the sun shining on his back, warm whispers on his neck as the breeze picked up slightly, seeming to mock his pain and desperation. He was breathing heavily when he skidded to a stop at what used to be the temple.

He couldn't stop the tears that came to his eyes, had to swallow hard against the lump that formed in his throat, fought back the horrible twisting in his stomach that made him want to throw up as he looked down upon the rubble.

The stairs were still there, still as gleaming and shining as ever, but now they led to nothing. Only a pile of grand rocks were left of Kurt's sanctuary, his safe place. There were charred chunks of the rock that used to be beautiful, now streaked with black where the lightning had hit directly and forced the stone to crack and crumble. Some of it still smoked in gentle puffs that dissipated into the clear air. Kurt took shaking steps onto the stairs, had to try so hard not to fall to his knees. He clenched his fists at his sides as he came closer and the basin came into view.

No, not _the_ basin. _His_ basin, the one that kept him connected to Blaine. Somehow, the pieces of the ruined temple had fallen around it, keeping it from being crushed to bits, yet had not protected it from the fury of the lightning. One hit, that's all it had taken, to have what Kurt knew of his life shattered. His basin, once so pristine and fascinating, had been struck, it seemed, with a single bolt right in the center of the bowl. The bottom of the basin was now charred an ugly black color and the force of the hit caused the basin itself to be split cleanly in two, a single crack running along the center, yet it still remained intact. The water was gone, presumably it had dripped out of the cracks and onto the ground, only to be washed away by the rain and dried by the sun.

Kurt ran his index finger along the edge of the basin, hoping that this was just a trick, that he could just wish it to be how it used to. He pressed his entire palm into the bowl, wanting so badly to feel the warmth of the water within and see Blaine's face swim into view. He closed his eyes and the tears fell, rolling down his cheeks and chin and landing on the back of his palm, where it sat in the basin, dry as bone.

His basin had been destroyed. And he'd promised himself that he would never again go near Neera, the tree that allowed him into Blaine's dreams. He could never see Blaine again.

And he did fall to his knees then, sitting amidst the ruins that was the only place he felt connected to the people he loved. Now that had been taken away too. It was gone.

He let himself sob, holding his arms tightly around himself as he wept until his tears ran dry. And he scooted back until his body was pressed against the cool marble of the basin and he sat there for a very long time, until the sun began to set. The air began to cool down until it reached the gentle warmth of a spring night, and the sun stained the sky a deep blue streaked with orange, pink, and purple.

Against his will, words began to flow through his mind.

_For now, this can be enough. _Caleb.

_You don't have to see him to know that he's there. _His mother.

_I'll always love him. _Blaine.

He lost track of how long he was sitting against the basin, hearing those words repeat over and over in his mind. And the more he thought about them, the more he realized that they were true.

Caleb had said to Blaine, "For now, this can be enough." He knew what he meant when he said it to Blaine, but Kurt looked at those words differently. Kurt knew that he was going to have to let go of Blaine and he thought that he already had when he'd accepted that someday Blaine and Caleb were going to be together. But now he realized that, without knowing it, he'd been holding on to the hope that they would somehow be together again. The fact that he kept going back to the basin day after day was only driving that impossible hope deeper. He would never just wake up and find himself in Blaine's arms back on earth. And the basin was just prolonging that wish, that dream, that would never come true. The loss of the basin had hurt, just like it had hurt to lose Blaine, but with it gone, Kurt realized that the force that had tethered him to his meager hopes was gone as well. Maybe now, he could truly move on. He'd watch Blaine go through this same thing, holding onto the hope that was never there. And with Caleb, he'd been able to slowly but surely let go. Kurt had had to have a more forceful approach in that his only means of seeing Blaine were snatched away, but in reality, he knew that that was the only way he'd ever be able to let go. He knew he was stubborn. Gentle coaxing was not the way to go, and as much as this hurt, he knew it was better. For now, the memories of Blaine would be enough, until he was able to see him again.

His mother had said, "You don't have to see him to know that he's there." Kurt had been holding onto these scenes like they were the only thing that would keep him from falling. But she was right. He knew that Blaine was there on earth and that he was finally happy and could start living again. And he knew that he needed to do the same, to accept that he was just going to have to be patient and wait a little longer.

Blaine had said, "I'll always love him." Kurt knew that this was true too. This one was the easiest for him to believe of the sentences that repeated through his mind. He did not need to convince himself of this fact. And Blaine knew that Kurt loved him, that Kurt would never stop loving him. Though they were farther apart now than either of them had ever known could happen, they would see each other again. Eventually. Before, Kurt had wished that they could be together, whatever it took. But now, he wished for Blaine to live his life for as long as he could, making the best of however long he had on earth, and Kurt wished for him to have years and decades ahead of him before they met again.

Kurt pushed himself up off the ground and wiped the tear tracks from his eyes. The sky was a royal shade of navy mixed with purple and dotted with hundreds of stars. The moon was bright and full, shining down and illuminating the silver clouds. Kurt closed his eyes and pictured Blaine standing on the Dalton lawn, looking up at this same scene before him, watching the moonlight glint off the lazily drifting clouds and trying to find constellations in the stars as they used to.

Kurt smiled then, glancing around at the ruins around him, and realizing that he no longer cared that the temple had been destroyed, that The Looking Glass was broken but still standing. Because when Blaine finally returned to him, he would be able to tell Kurt all of the things he'd done and seen and Kurt could hear them for the first time. He could hold Blaine in his arms again and it would feel like it had when Blaine first hugged him. He could look into those beautiful eyes and not see pain or hurt or healing; he would see love and joy and the playful sparkle that meant Blaine was thinking about him and that he'd missed him. He could see the slight dimples in his cheeks when he smiled and the crinkling in the corners of his eyes when he laughed and it would be as if he were seeing him for the first time.

He's just going to have to be patient.

* * *

><p><strong>Would it be worth writing an 'epilogue' where Kurt and Blaine are together again after Blaine has died and can be with Kurt? On the fence about writing it. Let me know if that's something you'd like to see!<strong>


	8. Epilogue

**Sorry this took so long. I was having trouble with it and I didn't like how it was turning out. But I fixed it and I hope that this lives up to everyone's expectations. I know that a lot of people wanted Kurt and Blaine together again and it was hard to figure out what to do with the Caleb situation! haha **

**I also wrote a one shot called 'Is this seat taken?' that is the one that I promised about Wes and Blaine. Let me know what you think of it, if you haven't read it yet!**

**Oh, and does anyone know who the author of the story 'Sex Education' is? I've been wanting to read it again and it seems to have been deleted and I can't remember who wrote it so I can beg for it to be posted again. =] **

* * *

><p>Kurt had developed a loving relationship with Aphrodite over the years. It had been a long time that he'd been here. He'd stopped counting the months, the years. Over time, he'd come to love this place as his home, and even branched out enough to call it 'heaven.' Because even if it wasn't what he was expecting, with angels dressed in white and huge wings and a god that watched over them, this place was perfect enough for his every want. He'd seen many, many people arrive here in the same way that he had so many years ago. And he'd seen close to the same amount of people leave. He knew now that this heaven wasn't infinite and he didn't have to stay here if he didn't want to. All he had to do was close his eyes and think that he wasn't happy here anymore and that he wanted to leave. And he would just… fade away. But Kurt was happy here and he'd made friends and learned to live a new life here. There was only one thing he was waiting for.<p>

Years ago, his father had joined them here. Kurt had stopped counting years, so he didn't know how long Burt had been with them. But he remembers that it had been a very bittersweet moment. With The Looking Glass destroyed so long ago, Kurt had no idea how the people he loved were doing. He'd accepted that it was better that he didn't know because he couldn't change anything that happened on earth. Better to just let whatever was going to happen take its course. He still found himself wishing sometimes that he could see his family, but he'd learned to put the thought out of his mind. When Elizabeth came running into Kurt's room, where he lay sleeping, she had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. She'd taken his hand and pulled her half-asleep son along with her until she reached the same grassy meadow where she'd met Kurt the first time he'd opened his eyes.

When they'd arrived, Kurt saw his father for the first time in years, standing in the middle of the grass, looking younger than Kurt had ever seen him. Kurt had learned over the years that as people crossed from one world into the next, they unconsciously returned to whatever state or age that they were the happiest. Elizabeth had returned to her current age of thirty-two, when Kurt had been three. "I loved teaching you how to walk and talk and share those nights where I'd read to you for hours and Burt would even read to you sometimes. Seeing you grow and become your own stubborn self, even as a child, was the best time of my life."

Kurt knew why he'd stayed at the age that he was when he'd died, at seventeen. Because at seventeen, though he was still a teenager, he had known very clearly what he'd wanted and though it was one of the toughest times of his life, it was also the best. Because he knew that he would be going to New York and he would try his hardest to get a job in doing what he loved. Because his dad was happy with Carole and because he'd gained a brother. Because he was with Blaine. He was with Blaine, who loved him and made him feel like the most special person in the world, just by holding his hand. Blaine was the reason that his most happy time in his life was at seventeen, and the reason he came to heaven at that age.

Blaine was the reason he hadn't closed his eyes and made that statement to move on. He was waiting for Blaine, waiting for his father and the many other people he loved in his life.

Kurt broke down when he saw his dad, who had returned at an age close to his wife's. He couldn't even run to him; he just fell to his knees and the tears began to spill down his cheeks and suddenly he was engulfed in the tightest of hugs and Burt was on his knees too, holding his son after so many years apart. They didn't speak for a long time. They couldn't speak with their tears choking up their throats but they held onto each other for so long, not needing anything but closeness.

When Burt could find the words, the first thing he said to Kurt was, "I knew I'd see you again kiddo."

And Elizabeth was there and Kurt's parents shared a long embrace, perhaps putting all of the years apart into one single hug that said more than words ever could. Then they walked together, hand in hand, as they went home.

That moment had been bittersweet indeed. And a few years later, Carole had joined them. She was of course welcomed with open arms and Elizabeth and Carole became very close friends. Elizabeth hadn't been able to thank her enough for taking care of Burt. Carole was a great deal younger than Kurt had ever seen her and he vaguely wondered why until he remembered that Finn's father had died in the war, when Finn was only a year old. Kurt had actually met Steven before and he was a genuinely nice guy with a great sense of humor, someone Finn should, and was, proud to call his father. Moments like these were always bittersweet, for in the joy of seeing a loved one again, those on earth were grieving a loss. Kurt was comforted in the idea that they would all be together again one day, as that thought helped him. But he had learned that those moments were not always happy ones.

Kurt knew that it happened all the time, as sad as it was to think of it, but he still wasn't prepared when a baby, wrapped in blue blankets and fast asleep, appeared in the meadow. Finn and Rachel. Kurt felt his heart break as he gently picked up the very small child and looked up at his mother with tears in his eyes. This baby was very small, premature. He couldn't say how early he was, but something had to have gone wrong for him to appear here. This was Kurt's nephew. Elizabeth had taken the baby and after some adjustment period, life had gone on as normal. They'd named the baby Logan and Elizabeth and Carole had immediately taken over 'motherly' duties. His mom had told Kurt that they were taking care of Logan until Rachel or Finn could be with him again. He even got to babysit, which he found great joy in. After a while, he'd asked Elizabeth what was going to happen. "People return here in the happiest moment of their lives and he didn't live a day. Is he going to grow? Will he be a baby forever?"

"Logan will decide and we'll see what happens from there," she'd replied.

"What do you mean 'he'll decide'? How can he-"

"Remember, honey, this is a magical place. The life he would have lived is his to choose. He'll grow until he reaches the happiest moment of what would have been his life on earth and then he'll stop."

"And he'll be like us? Never growing older?"

She'd smiled. "Yes, just like us."

And Logan had grown. Day by day he seemed to sprout up more, as if each day that passed were a year on his life. Logan was twenty-five when he stopped growing, the age he would have been at had he gotten married. The tall boy who stood before Kurt now had deep brown eyes and hair almost exactly matching Finn's. He shared his mother's stubbornness and his father's laugh. Kurt tried to be the best uncle he could, but when you play wrestle with Finn's son, things usually didn't work out well. Kurt had lost count of the times he'd threatened to get Logan back for tackling him to the ground and messing up his hair. He'd said it while he'd laughed of course, so neither one took the other seriously. Logan was living with Carole and Stephen, his grandparents, though they were so close in age they might as well be high-school friends.

Kurt was brushing out Aphrodite's mane as the sun sunk down behind the hills. A light breeze had sprung up as it blew down through the meadow, tickling the back of his neck and making strands of the horse's long pale mane reach out and breeze across his nose. Aphrodite had become his very close friend and he spent a lot of time with her, devoting his Saturdays to making sure her coat was as shining as could be and had conquered his fear of riding which, when he thought about it now, was silly because he had no reason to be scared. Aphrodite had become his friend who he could talk to and vent to and sometimes cry to or even just be silent. And he knew that she listened. Oftentimes, he brought her apples or cubes of sugar or other treats and she listened to him better than any other person here. All he had to do was whistle and she'd be there. Kurt had never had a pet in his time on earth and he liked to think that had he been able to have one, he'd have had a horse.

As the sun stained the sky orange and red, he brushed his hand over the horse's forehead and down to her cheek, he suddenly felt that someone was watching him. Logan snuck up on him all the time. For a twenty-five year old, he really had some growing up to do, but Kurt usually forgave him.

"Logan," he sighed, without turning around, "if you jump out and scare off Aphrodite, I really am going to have to tackle you this time. And I mean it."

"I don't know if I'm supposed to be jealous of this Logan guy. Is he better looking than me?"

Kurt felt his heart stop. No, really. He couldn't feel the beats in his tightened chest and he swallowed hard. Kurt whirled around so fast he would have fallen had he not been grounded by the sight in front of him.

Looking no older than Kurt could remember, he stood there with his tan skin and his curly black hair and his sparkling hazel eyes that filled with tears and his gorgeous smile that was trembling as he tried not to cry. _Blaine._

Kurt pushed off of the ground and practically threw himself forward, the tears falling unashamedly down his cheeks. The moment Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt's back, they both sunk to their knees, as if the thought of holding Kurt was the only thing that had kept him standing and now that they were, Blaine couldn't hold himself up anymore.

Deep, wheezing sobs tore from Kurt's chest as they both buried their faces in each other's shoulders, clutching at each other so tightly, he knew he would leave, and have, bruises. But neither man cared. It was all they could do to hold each other and if Kurt thought he could die of happiness, he just might, because it felt like his heart was going to explode. Fervently whispered statements tumbled from their lips and it was hard to understand what the other was saying at first.

When they finally pulled apart, just enough to look into the other's eyes, there were so many thoughts going through Kurt's mind that he couldn't think of what to say. He'd waited years, decades, for this moment, and now he found himself speechless. He just smiled as best he could through his trembling tears.

Blaine smiled too. "Look at you," he whispered, bringing his hand up to so softly brush the back of his fingers along Kurt's cheekbone. "Haven't changed a bit. Still just as beautiful as I remember. More beautiful."

Kurt closed his eyes at the touch. He'd missed Blaine so much. The sound of his voice, the way his shoes clacked on the ground as he walked, the touch that could be heated with passion or gentle with care. Kurt covered Blaine's hand with his own and said the first thing that came to his mind, "You're here."

Blaine laughed lightly. Oh, Kurt had missed his laugh. "That I am." And then Blaine's face turned serious. "Am I dead, Kurt?"

Despite the melancholy question, Kurt felt a smile pull at his lips. "That was one of the first questions I asked too." He rubbed small circles on the back of Blaine's palm with his thumb. "Yeah, you are Blaine. And I feel terrible and so selfish, but all I can think right now is that I'm happy you're here."

"Don't feel bad. I guess it was just time for me to go."

"H-how old were you, Blaine?"

"Eighty-seven." He said with a touch of pride. Then he looked down at his hands and pulled one of them from Kurt's grasp, holding it out in front of him. "I'm not eighty-seven. Where are my wrinkles?"

And he stared at Kurt with such a puzzled expression on his face that Kurt had to laugh. "There's a lot you need to know Blaine. There's so much I have to tell you and I want to know all about your life. Will you walk with me?"

But Blaine smiled and instead, laid down on the grass. "Is this okay? After so many years apart, I just want to lay here with you next to me and know that you're not going anywhere."

Kurt obliged and laid down next to him, getting as close as he could and resting his head on Blaine's shoulder. "Is this good?"

"Perfect." And they laid there, just listening to the sound of the other's breathing and holding onto each other's hands because even though they knew they weren't going anywhere soon, they needed the closeness now. It wasn't until the moon shone brightly and the stars twinkled down on them and Aphrodite gave up waiting for him and trotted away, did Kurt speak.

"Blaine? Will you tell me what your life was like?"

He turned his head towards Kurt and lightly stroked his fingers on Kurt's forehead. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." He said a bit sheepishly. "Did you go to New York like you wanted? Did you fall in love? Did you get married? Did you have kids? Did you go to college? I want to know everything, Blaine."

Blaine chuckled. "Everything is going take a while. Can I start with the basics?"

"Of course."

"But I need to know one thing first."

"Anything."

"Why am I not old?"

It was Kurt's turn to laugh. "Yeah, I guess I owe you that much. When we die, we unconsciously return to the age where we were the happiest in our lives."

"So I'm seventeen again? Like that movie?"

"Sort of." Kurt smiled. "But you won't go back to your old age. Are you okay with being seventeen?"

"I could be any age at all as long as I'm with you."

"Always so charming."

"Hey, I've had decades to perfect the charm." There was a pause and then he said quietly, "I guess I'll start after you died."

It was weird, hearing that statement from Blaine's mouth, but Kurt nodded.

"I was a wreck. Losing you was the hardest thing I'd ever had to live through. I didn't think I was going to make it though, honestly. I did, with the help of the Warblers and your parents and made it through senior year. I graduated with honors from Dalton and on a whim, decided to buy a ticket to New York. I ended up with a really long layover in Chicago and then my flight was delayed and almost canceled because of snow. So I had to find a hotel and got bored and went out downtown. And I fell in love with the city. Everything about it was amazing. I ended up canceling my flight and staying there for a year." He laughed, eyes sparkling. "I got a job as a bus boy at this restaurant to pay for the down payment on a very, very small apartment. Business was slow sometimes so my manager let me take my guitar out back so I could practice. One day some theater people happened to be walking by and heard me singing and told me about this audition coming up. So I went and I got the part. They cast me right there. I played Tony in a local theater company's production of a West Side Story for a year."

"I've always loved that musical. And you make the perfect Tony." Kurt snuggled up closer to Blaine, enjoying this moment and wanting to live in it forever.

"I know you do. And the first night I performed, I performed for you because I know you loved it so much."

"What happened after that?"

"The economy took a downfall and the company closed, but I'd gotten audition offers from some other companies so I ended up going to New York after all. I made it to a lot of callbacks, but I never ended up on Broadway. Now that I think about it, it was a good thing because I was able to book a lot of smaller shows in cafes and stuff and I was able to sing with just me and my guitar, which is what I love best. I lost contact with a roommate I had in high school and one day he called me, telling me he was in New York and we met up after one of my shows. His name was Caleb and he really helped me a lot when I was torn up because you were gone."

Kurt nodded. He knew.

"Talking led to more talking and then he asked me to dinner and it led to another dinner the next night and a play after that and…" he stopped, shifting a bit.

"Go on." Kurt said patiently.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I don't mind." He said sincerely. "I know you didn't stay single your whole life. You're too good looking for that." Kurt smirked.

Blaine laughed and pulled Kurt closer. "I had dated other guys before, but I never really felt comfortable with them. But things were different with Caleb. I guess I knew it when I met him in high school, but it took me years to be okay with that. We were together for seven years before I proposed. I don't think Caleb wanted to rush things and I honestly believe that he was waiting for me to propose so that he knew that he was what I wanted. He knew how much you meant to me and that you'd always be my first love. When we said our vows, he promised that he would always take care of me and love me and he did. I know it sounds cliché, but he really was the best husband I could ask for if I couldn't have you. It really was like a fairytale romance and in my defense, I think I deserved to be happy."

"Of course you did, Blaine. You deserved to be the happiest person in the world. I'm glad you found someone who loved you like he did. Like I wanted to."

Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead and then spoke with his lips brushing Kurt's skin, making him shiver. "We moved to Los Angeles and made a home for ourselves there. We both went to UCLA. I graduated with a BA in acting and a minor in music. Caleb got a BA in art. I did some theater work for a while, got some minor roles in a few TV shows, and Caleb opened up his own art gallery that I played at sometimes. After that, we settled down and adopted a daughter named Kara." Blaine looked at Kurt again, with a wistful look in his eyes. "She's beautiful Kurt. We named her for you. We both wanted to. She has this gorgeous curly strawberry blonde hair and very light blue eyes. You would have loved her. I wish you could have met her. She married Tyler at twenty-three and we had our first grandchild, Charlie, when she was twenty-five and Nicole was born two years later. Caleb and I retired at sixty-five and 'grew young together' as he put it. I played guitar for as long as I could until the arthritis in my hands made me have to stop. I was able to play piano for a while longer though, which made things easier. Caleb had dementia that got worse five or so years ago and that was hard to see him go through, but music seemed to help him so I played for him a lot. I started getting sick a lot and I guess my body just couldn't fight it off anymore. The last thing I remember was dreaming so I'd guess I died in my sleep. Wow, that sounds weird to say."

There was a long pause and Kurt found himself timidly asking, "Do you love Caleb?"

Blaine looked at him and his features softened. "Yes, Kurt, I do." He put his finger under Kurt's chin. "If you're wondering what will happen when he dies, you don't have to worry. He knows that I'd always come back to you in the end. And he told me that he loves me enough to let me go to you."

"You're not just saying that?" Somehow Blaine always seemed to know what he was thinking. Kurt had prided himself on hiding his emotions but with Blaine, he was an open book.

"No, Kurt. You can ask him yourself when he gets here." He laughed gently. "He'd told me many times that he wished he could have met you."

Kurt had tears in his eyes and he just wrapped his arms around Blaine and pulled him up closer and held him as tightly as he could. "I love you."

A soft smile appeared on Blaine's face as he cradled Kurt in his arms. "I love you too. More than you could ever know."

Blaine angled his head and pressed his forehead to Kurt's. Their noses were touching and they just breathed together and Kurt could not believe that he was finally with Blaine again. Kurt tilted his head as their lips met, with Blaine pressing his hand to Kurt's cheek and feeling the spark of heat and the longing that they'd both gone for so long without each other's touch. Kurt's lips parted and Blaine deepened the kiss, Kurt tangling his fingers in Blaine's hair and pulling him impossibly closer. Kurt could not say how much he'd missed this. Honestly, he just wanted to jump Blaine right now. He could tell by the way Blaine was pulling at his hips and the needy way he kissed him that Blaine wanted to too. But he pulled away, smiling at Kurt's whine and laughed huskily.

"Later, my love." He whispered in Kurt's ear, lightly kissing the sensitive skin on his earlobe. Blaine wrapped his arms around him again and Kurt settled his cheek on Blaine's chest. Blaine kissed Kurt's hair and then rested his chin on the top of Kurt's head. Kurt gently threaded his fingers with Blaine's, smiling lightly at the moon that shone down so brightly in the dark.

They stayed that way until the sun rose, finally safe again in the arms of the person they loved and Kurt knew that now they truly could build a home together, in the way that they'd always wanted to, in the way that they were always meant to.

* * *

><p><strong>And that brings this alternate ending to a close. Hope you've enjoyed it!<strong>


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